Stupid, for you

love, me

Sometimes I wonder

if I'll ever show you the poems I wrote

while sitting in my bedroom

and I find myself faint at the thought

 

The thought of you, the thought of your touch on mine, the thought of perhaps the prettiest smile I've ever seen

The thought that my poems skitter across the surface of my soul,

dancing along the edges as I reach for words, any words, to describe you

And the thought that one day you may see it and realize just how irresistibly smitten you've made me

 

"You have that stupid smile on your face again," you whisper to me,

hand tangled in my hair

as I lay against you 

 

"Of course I do," is all I want to say, because how impossible would it be to imagine I could feel anything other than bliss to have you so close?

 

But I just close my eyes and keep smiling at you

I hadn't even realized I was doing it

 

In truth, if I was afraid to show you my soul, to show you how the world has swept entirely out from under my feet, I'd already be much too late

 

"I love you," I try to say, but instead I just hold you closer and pray that you can tell

 

Crumpled up diary entries strewn nonchalantly in your view line,

Poems I write on a phone you know the password to.

I'm desperate for you to find the words I write myself into, to know the extent of your meaning

 

I'm desperate for you to hold me and kiss me and tell me you feel the same,

 

And yet, I feel faint

 

So it's stupid smiles, and holding you a little tighter and praying that you won't let go

And wondering, just wondering

If you know

Author's Note

This, like most of my poems, is for my boyfriend, but I think I would die if he ever saw it. I'd love to hear what you have to think about it :) do any of you ever feel this way?

Reviews

[Gee]

For me, for whatever reason, saying I love you for the first time was a long thought out drama, played out in my head for weeks until blurted out when 4 sheets to the wind due to a bucket load of lager. Now as an ageing old shite I tell all and sundry that I love them, no longer needing to drown in alcohol to do this.
Such a good piece

[hazy]

It’s the strangest thing, I find saying it to be so easy when talking to other people, but I get choked up whenever I try to tell him. Someday, I’m sure I’ll get there!