Hard to Be Myself

Lately, I haven´t been myself and I haven´t been able to be happy I haven´t been eating that much and I just don´t know why I feel this way, but it doesn´t feel good at all. I wish I could be okay.

June 4, 2020

  I know it´s been a while since I´ve wrote, but I need to do something to help myself cope with everything because if I go for a walk I´ll be followed by my dad´s girlfriend and I just want to be left alone. I keep saying I´m okay and fine, but I know it´s a lie. I forget how to be happy and what it´s like to okay, but I guess it´s all part of life to not be okay and to let yourself go until you can find yourself again. I been tired and angry and it has not been a good feeling because I know my dad´s girlfriend hates me and my sister just calls me a psycho because of how I acted and I admit how I acted was really messed up, but being called a monster is different. How do you get through the feeling I have been feeling? Is it all really going to be okay? Is anything going to get better? Am I worth staying for? What am I and what have I become? Can anyone help me? I just want to put my face into a pillow and scream until I don´t have a voice anymore and I want to cry so much. The aggravation UGHHHHHH!!!!!! I´m so tired of everything and wish people would just leave me alone, but even if I want left alone it will never happen.