Finding Yourself Takes Time

Sometimes there is this feeling when you feel worthless and you just can´t figure yourself out and why you are the way you are and that´s okay because you always get through it.

June 2, 2020

  There is a reason why I´m writing this today and I know I haven´t been writing a whole lot, but I needed to write this to get my feelings out and I think this relates to many of you too and get this a sixteen years old boy was so angry and depressed and he didn´t know how to say he was until he went to a specific place and realized that´s all he could feel. He always put on a fake smile and never let anyone know how he felt and he was just devastated and he always repeated the same mistakes he has made in the past. He was scared of himself and his actions, but the mistakes he made were not little mistakes they were huge mistakes and one day he looked at himself and said who am I and what am I doing with this life and he had no answers for himself. Everyone asked him how he felt and he always said he felt good when he actually did not feel good he felt terrible and isolated himself from everyone. He made friends at this place called Highlands and he blamed himself for everything that has happened from the day he was born to this day. He listened to really sad songs that made him think he could be more. He knew he was never going to be better than anyone, but he strived to make everyone else happy and did not care how he felt. He had to take medication for depression and anger, but if he had anxiety he had to take medication for his anxiety. He felt like the world was always against him and never with him because he just had that thought. He thought he had to focus on everyone, but himself. He never cared about himself just about others and he tried to understand everyone's situations and he knows it would take a long time to find himself and he will continue feeling that way for as long as he is in school. He missed everything in life and he lost everything in his life and feels like he is losing more and more each day. He left everything behind him and just let everything go. I know how he feels because that person I can´t even find if that makes any sense then you will understand who the real person I´m talking about is.