He told you what you wanted to hear

A guy I have known since the beginning of my school life head start and every guy I have dated has told me they loved me and then left I'm only 16 so I have time I know. I haven't felt good enough.

Ever since I was little I always thought my relationships were real until I realized maybe there is no one in this world I'm good enough or I'm not pretty enough for anyone and I failed my freshman year and ended up in a 9th grade homeroom and maybe there is someone who likes me. I don't know if he actually likes me because he went to the fall ball with another girl as "friends", but I realized he is awkward and makes our conversations seem awkward and I'm not used to saying the right things and I'm pretty sure he doesn't really like me I don't know because every guy I have talked to or dated used me to get to another girl or did really bad drugs. What do I do about it? I think he is one of the sweetest guys I've ever met other than my best friend Josh. I feel like I mean nothing to everyone even the guy. He's respecting that I want to wait to date because I'm not ready for another relationship. I feel like mine and his relationship will fall apart in just a bit of time and if he gets to know me maybe he won't like me anymore because of how my personality is and how my attitude is. 

  I come to you all to ask what is love and I think everyone needs to ask themselves this question because I don't think anyone understands what it is. What most people have is called lust something that they want to be real, but it's not love they want it to be love, but they haven't found the right person yet. Everyone needs time to find themselves and find their soulmate. I knew I was in love with my ex Ashton because he always respected me and never gave up on me, but he ended up with my ex best friend Courtney and I asked him how could he do that if we never broke up as much as we did we would have been together for 7 years, but nothing ever works because he started calling me a hoe, w***e, and a s**t even though I've never done anything with anyone I've only had my first kiss which was him. It took 5 months to get over him and now I don't know why, but I feel like the guy in homeroom is using me. Is it normal to feel like that after you been through so much? I feel like I can never love or no one could love me because I feel like I'm different and they won't respect that I'm waiting until marriage. I just want a true romance, but no one really likes me or cares for me. I make it hard for people to because I'm stubborn and I have a sassy attitude and no one wants to be with a girl who works with horses and just is country. Can I just find someone right or is everyone going to be wrong for me and never love me?