Mutual Feeling

Last night Nov. 21, 2019 my sister sent my dad something about my mom and seems like she hates me and my sisters.

Out of everything you have done you can't even stand up for your kids. Always adult time, always time for drugs, but never time for your children? Why do you hate us? Why do you think you can walk in and out of our lives whenever you feel? You were in town and the only girls you went to see were Audrey, Novalee, and Shaina. My question for you is why don't you love me the same amount that you love them? Why does your boyfriend have to defend your kids, but you can't? I understand I'm no good, but what if I told you the feeling is mutual? Would you just go to the bathroom sit on the floor and cry like you did when we gave you attitude? We have had our dad here more than what you have because he is the only parent out of you two who cared to stay so that we didn't have to live our lives without parents. When he was going to school his parents took us in and took care of us, but why does it have to be so painful when I try to erase you out of my life and heart why does it hurt to want to erase you out of my heart? It's not fair you're hurting me inside and it's not fun. I know you're coming back in town, but don't bother seeing me I just want to be done with you for good. We don't deserve a mother like you and you were never there for us. We don't deserve to be treated like houses by the woman who gave birth to us. I hate it and I want to hate you, but my heart is too heavy too let go and I have too much hope for you. Every time I hope for you to change and you tell me you changed I'm stupid to believe it and you don't even get it People think I'm so stupid and just a nobody, but why do you think I'm a nobody I'm hanging onto the thread just thinking about you. The cigarette smoke smell I hate it you forced me to smoke and pulled the phone plug with your boyfriend when I tried calling my dad and my dad was the one who raised me not you because you were running around messing with married men and wishing we weren't born. Why do you lie to us? A parent should keep their promise all the times you promised to visit more and that turned into a lie you waited until someone held your hand to drag you out to see us then after Shaina left your side of the family gave up on us and stopped seeing us.