Gracious God

Your demise is inevitable

I can see what lies beyond your eyes and broken smile

Only I could create a monster like you

Oh how I manipulated you in your mothers’ womb

I didn’t know you would grow in too such a beautiful women

Yet so horribly scorned by this horrible world

 

No need to be frightened when I come to your rescue   

I am a gracious god who comes when my monsters call

For a moment I will take away what you despise

Open your eyes and you will find it is you, you hate

By this time I will be nowhere in sight

You have called on me one too many times

 

So give a self will run riot a try

I’ll laugh aloud at your lack of comatose

As you cry to a hollow sky for it to take you away tonight

Curse it in the morning as you keep in mind

 

The purist of them have fallen in to me and corrupted

As I am drying people are dying and I’m loving it

Never could the love of your life be causing this

Even as I tell apathy is all I have to give

For whatever reason you just can’t get

I am only the bottle by your bed; I am only the voices in your head          

Reviews

[Michael of Gilead]

Sounds like booze to me....

[Barbara Walker]

WOW awesome a little enigmatic, but not so much so that your intent doesn't come shining through. Great write!

[Kris Zee]

Dark words soothes me. This poem is soothing, I love that this "God" shows humanity, human emotions, and acts as any good person would but there is limits to goodness I guess? The character had been taken advantage of and now steps over to the dark side? Whatever the original meaning may possibly be, I love these kinds of poems that allows readers to feel connected in their own ways, their own situations.

It has been most enjoyable to read :)

[James William Dyer]

Nice write. Loved the dark overtures.

[CreativeCookie]

Ok, I'm going to be truthful. I kinda get it, kinda don't. And I like a few bits, but don't really like the rest. Sorry, I'm frank, can't help it. I personally feel offended how you have presented God. You have made Him sound like a horrible being, when He isn't. I really hate how you made Him sound like he really doesn't care, when thats all he does, care and love unconditionally. People, I don't mind ya'll hating on me for this review, but I won't apologize or regret it.
Love,
CreativeCookie

[James William Dyer]

I thought this was one of your better poems, J. I also loved your depiction of the christian god, who is a Tyrant. Think about it, what kind of being ethnically cleanses ninety nine percent of life on Eath then dresses the story up with a promise of a rainbow and two people on an ark getting ready to commit incest to propogate the human race. I'm not going to debate religion here, but this was an accurate portrayal of a Tyrant god for sure. Good job, man. Keep up the great writing

[James William Dyer]

....each to his own

[J. Viands]

No worry’s we are entitled to our opinions but the word God isn’t talking about Christ, Ala, or Buddha it’s used as a title for something in the characters life

[J. Viands]

We are writers here we do know what a title is!?

[J. Viands]

I am only the bottle by your bed; I am only the voices in your head... HINT HINT

[J. Viands]

While I’m a huge advocate of free speech don’t try to shut me down unless you know why… please it’s really annoying

[J. Viands]

James you cool you think about why you’re givin me grief before you do

[James William Dyer]

me? I didn't post anything but my initial comment back there,.,,,,what happened?

[James William Dyer]

and you're right, it isn't really about any god in particular, and from the last lines of the poem it seems as though the 'Gracious God" could be a person's vice, and you could be comparing that to the lack of intervention from above. But what happened here.....was someone posting from my account? I leave this computer on and open a lot, but no one here would vulgarize your page. It's just me n my girlfriend living here, no word terrorists that I'm aware of

[J. Viands]

No man I’m sayin it wasn’t directed at you

[Ruth]

Oh yes...
I felt this...
Overtakes and obliterates...
Indulges and suffocates...
Liberates and desimates!
Great work
xox

[GypsyAlien3303]

I really enjoyed this, good job. :) I especially liked the very last line.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

I for whatever reasons, love and appreciate dark pieces, especially those with themes of self-destruction. This is a great piece. I love the end especially. Awesome writing.

[mandy]

oh, how i manipulated you in your mother's womb. born of an alcoholic?? alcoholism is a very difficult disease to overcome. i know that some do. but i also know there is comfort in the bottle. you wrote a good description of the demons that plague one in the grip of alcoholism,,

[Ees]

The following line had me stumped, made no sense: "So give a self will run riot a try".

This was a bit of a confusing piece to read, but i liked the voice and the, hmmm, what is the word, the almost condescending dark tone. I liked that.

a bit of self destruction?

[J. Viands]

Essentially a self will run riot is an attempt at solving all your own problems by yourself when you know you can’t. It is a very much so a self destruction piece it is an observation of an alcoholic. Thanks for the review

[J. Viands]

Essentially a self will run riot is an attempt at solving all your problems by yourself when you know you can’t. It is very much so a self destruction piece it is an observation of an alcoholic. Thanks for the review

[Ees]

okay, you may want to think about the phrasing in that one line. Great job overall though!