city lights

i'd never been one for a big city

growing up, i wanted peace

just peace and quiet and hills and emptiness

you came along and you were my city

you were fast and reckless and light and darkness

you took me away from my hometown,

turned me into a dirty and stained version of myself

i liked it

you took me up on a rooftop in the large city

you said it reminded you of what God felt like,

sitting up above everything and watching people

like ants, they scurried everywhere

you felt powerful, you felt free, you felt brave

the wind blew through my long and messy hair,

your eyes were ablaze with the lights emitting from every direction

i asked you why you came to a city like this, you said

"it makes me feel unimportant"

Reviews

[Antoñyo]

"you took me away from my hometown, turned me into a dirty and stained version of myself
i liked it" ...Great visual segment, I agree, but then... "i asked you why you came to a city like this,
you said "it makes me feel unimportant"

...Pretty amazing to me because (and Hayley please let me know if I'm wrong) it sounds like (or more like, 'feels' ) these two weren't intentionally connected. So as a reader I'm questioning, Did she know he was pulling her past the point of US and into HIS world while tearing her down?...and blinded by the city lights, glitz and glamour, does she now see that her sweet tear, the dirt'n stains, became downgrades that made him feel less important? Or, is he just a user that practiced on country until he felt he was good enough for the city? Or D: All of the above.

Wow, I didn't plan to say all that. Interesting read.

[J. Kell]

I am new here. This poem was one of the first that I have read and it was really beautiful. You paint a picture with your words!

[Karen]

This poem is quite reflective... I like how it makes me think about the dichotomies in my own life, whether my liking one thing turns me "into a dirty and stained version of myself" (great line!!) or whether I was always that way and simply wasn't looking at myself in the right lights... just another version of myself, a clearer view. Great poem! Thanks for writing and sharing!

[zainul]

I adore your frankness.
You didn't pretend anything and hide anything.
Simple is beautiful.
Like your wonderful piece,Hayley.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

what a great ending...and yes, to feel unimportant...

it does that..especially up on the rooftops..

i lived in Bronx as a kid...related to this...we lived on the fifth floor of a five story apt. building...and we used to go up on the roof and watch the speedboat races on the Harlem river.

i like the part of the poem about the dirty, stained version of yourself.

something we don't like or don't want can grow on us..can eat us up...

i like the confessional poet feeling of this..

the openness...

really good work...

jacob

[Wolfwind]

Powerfully deep piece of writing. it really takes us to the inner core of that particular walk of existance. Though it had what I would say was a very down on life feeling to it. The imagery and energy of the words really carried the mind to muse on just where a person fits in life.
For me the big cities give me the feeling of invisability, rather than unimportance... Yet, I can see how for some that's the way it would be.

Really good poetry! Thanks for sharing your craft.
Aaron - Wolfwind

[K. Louis]

Really great imagery all throughout...but I really love that last line..poignant!