Sailor

you sailed across the equator. earned your right to call yourself a sailor and gained your tattoos. you have seen China, Japan, India, England, Italy, Iraq.  you have been a leader to some men who are know older the 18 but show so much love for this country that it amazes you. you have flown machines of power built for destroying cities (and thank god you have never had to drop that power) 

but the only thing keeping you at sea is that contract collecting dust in some filing cabinet. on the outside your uniform is crisp and clean. inside, you wither away as you count the days till your feet hit american soil.  your family tells you how much they love you and how proud they are of you but in the end you wish you could actually be there in person to hear them say it. you wish you could have been their to see you son born.

At the end or the day though, coming home in your dress blues, manning the deck with your fellow sailors; it fills you with pride. to see your wife waiting just behind the fence, first in line, with your son who holds a welcome home sign; it makes everything worth it. it reminds you why you do this time and time again. the pride you see on your sons face, the tears in your wife's eyes; it makes everything worth it.

Reviews

[Steve M]

I am an author, and I am not a professional critic. The suggestions I have for you are based on how I feel about what you wrote, concerning content, style, grammar and spelling. Please take it in the spirit in which it is intended.
1. I am uncertain as to why you decided to use lower case letters at the beginning of each sentence; it is your prerogative as the writer, but I find it distracting as I am reading. You capitalized some proper nouns, but not all. Proper nouns should always be capitalized, even God and American.
2. Check your punctuation. You omitted a period at the end of the first paragraph. Even though the second sentence has "You" as an understood subject, it makes the sentence more clear if it is actually written. I believe there should be a comma after "how proud they are of you" and before "but in the end".
3. Word usage/spelling. The first paragraph you write "to some men who are know older the 18 but show". It should read "to some men who are NO older THAN 18(insert comma) but show". In the last sentence of the second paragraph you write, "you wish you could have been their to see you son born." It should read "you wish you could have been THERE to see YOUR son born." In the last sentence the word "sons" should be "son's".

In enjoyed the story, please keep writing more, but check your grammar and spelling more closely. I hope this review doesn't discourage you, as these things are easily fixed. Sometimes it helps to read your story out loud and see how it sounds to you.

I look forward to reading more from you.