Life itself

Life itself,
is something i cannot comprehend
All the screaming and pleading.
F**k i wish it would just end.

I jumped off a bridge.
only to find i could fly.
Life itself
is slowly passing me by.

 

My pain is obviously,

Not visible to the naked eye.

I'll bleed a few more lies,

I'll scream until i die.

 

 

Reviews

[André-J-Franklin]

Reality is harsh and cruel but this poem right here is a jewel. Its a great read by the way keep up the all to real but inspiring life story!

[Amanda Lee/ Isolated Dr..]

I really like the second stanza, you can really hear the strength building there.
Overall strong emotions;
"comprehend and end" seems like too obvious of a rhyme though; try using a slant rhyme there, it might make the stanza a little strong! :)
All in all, nice job :)

[~ Stefanie ~]

One critique... 'its self' should be 'itself'
Other than that this was a nice write. Good job!

[Kayla Etreni]

i love it.

[paradise]

its nice i guess really short and i think it might have been better with more but thats just my pov

[Wolfwind]

Life indeed has moments where the chaos thunders around us. And we all at times need to take time and find a place of peace. But we don't want to wall ourselves up and hide from life...for we are all part of a larger puzzle, each piece being needed to understand the grand design.

There's allot of rage as well as self reflection in these words. It's good to get it out and then look back at where you've walked, so to remember why it is you strive to continue a journey to a brighter place.

Aaron

[JRB]

thoughtfull, keep hope, nice work