A Warning

Dear eight year old me, 

Your father will die. You will be molested, raped, abused and you will fall apart.You will attempt suicide many times.  you will feel that drinking and drugs are the way to better you, they are not. You will meet a man who makes you fall in love again and again, but it will not always be so. You will feel lost and confused, your innocence will not be apart of you for very long. 

Don't worry, though. Eighteen year old you will figure it out. It will have passed, you will find a way to cope. It will be okay. 

Dear thirteen year old me, 

By this time your father is gone, you've figured out what sexual abuse is. You haven't quite figured out what falling apart is yet, but you will. I'm so sorry for your loss. Luckily you've got your virginity. You're still "pure", hold onto it.

Dear fifteen year old me, 

You've suffered a loss, you've been abused, and raped. You know what falling apart is, but you have no actual idea yet. You will not be able to handle being touched by a man who really loves you. You will not be able to enter a crowded building without wanting to vomit, for fear of judgement. Your entire life will feel like a chore. It will pass. 

Dear sixteen/seventeen year old me, 

At sixteen you found real happiness, he is real. Keep him and treasure him as long as you can. You are in love, but it will not last long. He treats you well, but it will soon come to an end in a years time. Your social anxiety has faded, you soon do not care about what people think of you. Be careful with your drinking and drug use, this could become an issue for you. I'm so sorry about the shower and belt incident, do not feel guilty. At seventeen you just felt as if your life was not going anywhere. Future you will thank you for removing the belt.  

Author's Note

I struggled with wanting to post this, because it is factual.
My objective is to let people know that if they've gone through this, they're not alone.

Reviews

[SleeplessVolcano]

Now we need to write into the future too to prepare for what is coming!

Very sincere and to the point writing.

[Lox]

I'm sorry, I know nothing of this experience. But somehow, just somehow, this piece makes me even want to sympathize with the victims err aspiring survivors. You ma'am, with this piece have touched me. Thank you for letting me/us read