A side story or maybe a part of the main story on something that i am working on.

A Story by 5John17

When did she become so special to me?

Maybe, it was because she was always there for me. Especially, when I needed her the most. In fact, it was almost seemed like she was an ‘esper', with the ability to read minds. For, she could always tell when I was troubled or hurt. And no matter how much I attempted to hide these feelings of conflict, she would still easily see through me.

I guess it would sound creepy to some people, but to me it wasn`t like that at all. Instead, to me, she shone brighter than the sun. Maybe it was because she was so overwhelmingly beautiful- that my heart would start beating uncontrollably just from looking at her… Nah it was definitely more than just her appearance… I see, it was probably because she was so warm. For, she could always cheer me up and just being around her was just so comfortable…

I remember there was this one time, when I was in middle school, the feeling of jealousy of my brother raged from my soul. I think Jealousy and envy swallowed me completely at that time because it seemed that no matter how hard I worked, I was failing in whatever I did, whereas my brother triumphed in everything.

I felt that he had everything I wanted, the looks, the brain and the talent. So it was no surprise, his whole life was filled with glory. He won countless gold medals in taekwondo, while excelling in his academics and still frequently hanging out with his friends… Like seriously, is he a beast in disguised as a human?

Anyways, I felt so dead at that time, to the extent where I thought the world had lost its colour. Indeed, I was a complete mess.

My mind was filled with so many painful thoughts. Thoughts like, “liars, who was the one that said hard work doesn`t fail you? “ And at the same time, my heart would feel so crushed, as if a heavy boulder was pressing it down and as if there was nothing I could do except cry in agony. It seemed like the whole world was against me and the only place that was safe was my room. (Thinking back, I was really pathetic.) I had covered myself with my blanket like a little kid that was afraid of monsters, which never existed…

What was that word to describe the state I was in? Distressed? Hurt? No, it was delusional. I was delusional, living in my own world, afraid to face the cruel reality, and afraid to get up again, thinking that only pain and suffering awaited me. Lame right…

My parents chose to leave me alone. Maybe it was because they did not know how to help me. Or maybe because they felt that I needed to overcome my obstacles in life, if I wanted to survive in this cruel world. But the me at that time did not consider any of this. Instead I thought they were heartless and only cared about my brother, Shawn. After all, they only ever sung praise about him and would often say why can`t you be like your brother.

However, Alice was different. Her light freed me from the darkness. Well, how did she get into my room that I holed myself in? Spare keys from my parents? I don`t know, or maybe I just can`t recall how she got in my room. However, what I do recall so strongly was our conversation.

I kept on screaming at her, like a little kid. Telling her awful thing that probably hurt her feelings. But she didn`t go away, instead she stayed in the room.

And eventually I screamed “You don`t understand how painful it is to try so hard, fail and realise that I can never be like my brother. No matter how much I try, it`s all USELESS, USELESS, USELESS! Do you even know how painful it is to be compared to your brother and be seen as nothing but a complete failure? No, you don’t! After all, you don’t have a damn brother!”

The immature me was rattling like an idiot and screaming at the top of his lungs like a kid. So one would probably think Alice would get fed with me. But well, she didn`t.

Instead she spoke ever so gently and yet at the same time, her voice resonated so strongly in my heart. She said “I can`t understand the pain you’re going through because I am not you. But what I can see is that you’re in pain and I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

What`s this? Was my heart started to waver, hearing that someone actually, genuinely cared for me. Nope, it all probably just pretty words, I thought to myself, as I hardened my heart.

But it was futile she kept on chipping on my frozen heart.

“And even if you think everyone is expecting so much from you, just know that I am not expecting anything. After all, I think your fine the way you are. Rein is Rein.” Alice said with a bright smile.

What? Was this what I wanted to hear? A few tears started flowing out of my eyes. “Why don`t you think it`s natural for me to be like my brother? And don`t you think its cooler If I was like my brother, instead of the pathetic me right now?”

“Fufu, Alice chuckled.

“Who are you calling pathetic? Didn’t I say Rein is Rein? And that you’re fine the way you are. And who said that you`d be cool if you were like your brother. I for one, think it would be weird, and that there is no point in being one`s shadow.” Alice said, while drawing closer and gazing in my eyes.

“Ttthen if I don’t follow my brother`s footstep to be successful, then how do I be successful?” I asked with a coarse voice.

“The one who defines himself successful is oneself” Alice said as she pointed her index finger to me- or more like she poke my chest with it.

“But it’s still hard to chase one dream by oneself.” I said with a bit of doubt.

“I didn`t say you have to do it alone. After all, even if you think the whole world is against you, you should know I will always be your ally” She said so tenderly and lovingly.

And with that, tears burst out and I wailed like a baby.

Alice just smiles and brought my face to her chest, just like a caring mother, I never had.

Thinking back, her chest was really soft... I mean, my heart had defrosted and I felt a warm tingling sensation form within my heart.

And with all of my excessive negative energy gone, my eyes became heavy. And, Soon I had drifted asleep in that position.