My Secret Life

Please listen closely
To what I have to say
You make think of me lowly
But there is no other way

You see
I have a bit of history
Trust me
I would love to keep the mystery

But that would solve nothing
And my friend in you would leave
So instead I write this thing
So I won't have to grieve

I guess I'll start by telling you
How this all started
See my father was a man who
Kept us all from being parted

By us I mean my family
One with many misfortunes
Though we coped quite handily
They left us with distortions

It is sad
But its still true
My father made people mad
And made my mother quite blue

This caused most of our negatives
The events left unsolved
He is remembered for the hardships he gives
And the problems he caused

Even though he is dead
We still give him the blame
I don't remember a word he said
Although I still carry his name

Now a question
I'm sure arises
The level of my hesitation
Constantly growing in sizes

See I have yet to let go
A problem with accepting
For in me his blood does flow
Though I still recall his ending

A day I won't forget
No matter how I feel
A fate so many have met
A fate that caused mine to seal

My birthday is the end of May
His death was the start of June
I'm haunted by the very day
I lose sleep and look towards the moon

The day was just like any other
That night was what had changed
I still hear the screams of my brother
Sounding as if he were deranged

My sister only cried
Though I was unable
To learn our father had died
I dreamed it were a fable

I can remember every detail
Every passing second
The pain when I exhale
My life forever threatened

He was murdered the morning
By a man he called his friend
Without the slightest warning
All my happiness did end

Stabbed until he was no more
Until life abandoned him
The wounds numbered sixty-four
And made my life forever grim

No one had expected it
No one had a clue
To my sadness I did submit
To my happiness I bid adieu

This event has left me broken
It has led to much mistrust
Causing me to be cold and frozen
And do things that are unjust

One day I will come to
I'll accept the lost
And be born anew
Allowing me to defrost

So that is the story
In all its horrible glory.

Author's Note

This is entire thing was true. I wrote it so I would be able to cope with the events that happened.

Reviews

[Duane Klinger]

so powerful. as my dear friend thea says, you show extreme bravery for writing this. i am sorry that it took such a loss to give rise to such a wonderful piece. my heart goes out to you, friend.
MKLINE

[Thea Fuentebella]

i praise you on your courage to write your story into a poem. you're a tough soul. i believe you will get through the pain and be able to genuinely smile again. i am sorry for your loss.

[Sandra Acevedo]

WOW. Yes...writing does make us cope. You're young, yet your writing is true and strong. You're young, yet have gone through what most never do. Keep up with your writing, it will restore you. Very good!

[Megan]

i think it's great how people can write about what they're going through through poetry, and use it as a way to, somewhat help, or explain what went on, or what they're feeling..like this poem, which was so much more than that, but actually a real truth about what happened... the pain may take a long time to defrost...a long time for it to ease and for things to get better, but it will come...this poem isn't even really about the rhyming, or the flow, or the pattern, but the expression...and the truth..i really hope that things get better for you. :)

[Hayley]

Wow, you are a strong person, a very strong person. The poem itself is obviously powerful and well written. I think the subject matter just says it all though.

After reading this, my throat feels tight and my eyes are full of tears. You're such a great writer, you really know how to connect with the reader and make them feel the emotion that you're expressing. It was an awful tragedy that you expressed in such a wonderfully poetic way.

[Not Available]

This poem kinda reminds me of me lol "A secret yet to be told" a quote I came up with :)

[CagedBIRDsings]

Amazing...Not everyone can just take out their heart and display it for the world to see, and for that, I admire you and respect you. This poem was honest and emotional and well written. A part of your life that has changed you in so many ways. That's what I think poetry is about. Letting go of all reserves and letting the words spill out. This is how you feel, and in writing this, it provides you with a source of light, a little bit of comfort. Poetry is like a window into the heart and thoughts of the writer. I am glad and thankful that you have shared this with me and so many around us. Stay Strong :)

[qaralynn]

I'm sorry for your loss *hugs*
It's a very sad and honest write..thanks for sharing your story with us!

[Sameer Ali]

I don't know what to say...
It's horrible but someway or the other it has made you a genius