We're Awake

Blank and blue paper has art unknown,

like kind lit eyes set moderate and high,

squinting in an alight sun

that remembers every rise,

exploding light on our lives.

 

We’re given gold and warmth for every morning

we’re awake.

 

Although left from us at dusk,

our fires still burn the sunlight

once soaked into tree trunks.

 

A peek into these flames,

to stare at the source of life,

enchants even aching listless eyes.

Reviews

[Gandré]

indeed, to be awake, or to be aware (how I perceive it), is a wonderful topic for a poem; sensations provide one with awareness of nothing independent of them; with some sensations (here seeing light, feeling the warmth) we can draw a distinction between the sensation and what it is a sensation of...when we are listening to our senses we write authentic poetry and that's what I feel when reading your poem, this is first hand experience, and that's what makes this poem so special. many great lines, I liked how you play here: squinting in an alight sun

that remembers every rise,

exploding light on our lives.-------this has even philosophical meaning. For instance, in Confucian ethics, love was just a secondary attribute, because humaneness as principle denoted the oneness of all beings. but in classical Buddhistic thought everything is connected, and this is the poetic answer to it. As you say, -to stare at the source of life,

enchants even aching listless eyes.---------- love (sun) makes us feel alive. This is kind of poetry I love; poetry which can be reread and reread and one still finds new impulse to see the world differently.

[aj]

I really like your use of figurative language. You know its a true poem when the words are showing you something, and not just telling you and that's what you did.
Its like someone opening the curtains in your room while you're sleeping, and you wake up to the warm sun on your skin. And when we open our eyes we are blinded by the bright light our eyes haven't adjusted to yet.
I had to really think about this!


And I'm still thinking {:

[KatiePie]

The last section

"A peek into these flames,
to stare at the source of life,
enchants even aching listless eyes."

That really took my breath away, I loved it though, the entire thing was great.
Good work ^-^
Keep writing

[Mischa Keats]

"Blank and blue paper has art unknown," I liked that line, it's very clever. Made me smile.

[Moth Phoenix]

I really liked it. :]