Color

What the hell is it that makes me unlovable? This is me trying to figure it out.

lighter fluid

flames burn her

pale green

eyes to black-

 

skinny red

gray coals

charred heat

risen and

fallen pulses

fire chars

 

my color

ink tank

 

is dry white creeks

and black beds

 

a lack of color

paints

white out

her blush

 

almost touches

my color

blind hand

 

absence

of a brush

lusts her

 

to my color

crushed

 

a resistible glow

holds

a narrow lightning

strike under my shallow eyes

bolted

below the black

dilated darkness

 

something frightened

they must

all experience

 

it is my fragile styles

in isolated

p  i  e  c  e  s

thrown across the floor like

 

soup steam recollected

possibilities

sipped through her

digestion then discarded

 

color empty calories

Author's Note

This originated from a collection of experiences from the past two days I jotted down. I've never been in a real relationship where love exists, all I know is vague infactuation. I've always wondered why, and lately have been trying to forget it and love myself no matter what, but the fact keeps staring me in the face, and I have to ask myself, why? Sorry, I'm ranting, hope you enjoyed the poem!

Reviews

I love the imagery you create- you have such a way with words that it's justmagnificent to be quite honest, I love as well how you use spaces and punctuation to express certian meanings- out of everybody I've ever reviewed or read, I think you always convey it best!:) If that's any compliment at all! I love the P I E C E S part, it really works, and: my color
ink tank

it's all just great :) and the lines: "digestion then discarded colour empty calories" as your past relationships I found to be a great metaphor, but one day you will find somebody who will feel fufilled by you! :) and to be honest on the subject of love that you've put in your authors note, I thought myself to have been in love once, and no matter how many times he cheated on me I still thoguht it was worth it, but when they eventually abandon you for someone else it hurts. So I don't wish that on you, but I do wish you love :) I'm not going ot give you the "love is found when you least expect it" or "love will find it's way" talk. The fact is that there is nothing repelling you from anyone, infact maybe the only thing that holds you back is the doubts you have in yourself at making something work!
And never fear- everybody enjoys a good rant, people have to listen to mine for hours! :) well done anyway, another tremendous write Mr. Lawrence- your writing is very more-ish! :) keep at it, and as for the love thing... work on that, but don't ever settle! Make sure that you aim for what you deserve! :) xx

[Adam Jordan Turner]

Wow this is incredible. Another great work as I always expect from you, nice write.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Travis, you have such a talent for writing, that I can't help but believe that it truly defines you as the person you are! Someone will love you... be patient! It will come when you least expect it!

Til then, I will delight in the company of your "rantings"!

; )
Kelly

[Alexzan Marie]

I more than enjoyed the poem and am surprised by your ranting.

It was so bright and brilliant and I loved it...
I can't really think of anything constructive to say other than I like it. And am reader listing it =)

Thank you for sharing.

[L.G. Knight]

nicely done I like the brokeness of it! Wonderful imagery and great flow very nicely done indeed!

~Frances~

[EvesDaughter]

I did enjoy this poem. It's written very well
and the presentation is interesting. The
theme is one we've all had to tackle with -
don't give up! Love finds you when you
least expect it...

Eve