Fountain

Thoughts and visions, and comparisons

sleep while

I do what I want

to say

 

fleets of isolations

that say

we are all the same

 

the way

we speak

in misunderstandings

 

the lucid seams

stitched in multi colors

between sight’s fabrication

 

loud eyes

say more

than cramped vocabularies

 

highly conscious

dreams seen by critiquing

an other’s eyes

 

move meant

a silent stare

and straight path

 

my eyes move

too fast

and quiet

 

branches wave

every way

but the trunk is steady

 

like smoke

in a box

shifts circles and twists in rings

 

of fountain mist

sending my senses

popping nerves

 

on a wet face

like fountain soda

carbonates

 

and jumps

like burst bubbles rise

and fall back into the cup

 

trying to escape

the pop

and doom the gravity

 

pulls

back

down

 

lower into the sea

of drink

the air knows

 

it’s out

of place in liquid

and swims to

 

ESCAPE!

ESCAPE!

we don’t belong to hear

 

stolen blue dusk rings

dusty simple thought streams

smoked anything but slimly blacked

 

outside an orange peeled

meandered one way in to flat wave oceans

a contemplation of currents

 

swimming stale as salt

watery thoughts poured sourly

and formed in a circle of glass

 

vague light

switched on, softly

by steamed sight

 

comforted by a simpler

indifference to anything singular

but my breath

 

BREATHE!

to know this

indifference

Author's Note

This is a collaboration of three seperate poems I wrote during the past few days. They seemed to link up well, so I combined them. Let me know your opinions.

Reviews

[KayOss]

It may be a weird thought, but I love the way this poem moves. It undulates sinuously, almost like a dancer. I can't think of any other way to express the movement within this piece. Further, you did a wonderful job of combining the poems; I couldn't pick out the seams if I tried.

I love the way you use language. I never tire of reading your work because you always treat language in a way that is unexpected and different. Reading your work forces me to look at language in a different way; that's refreshing.

I think that the floating, almost dream-like way that this poem reads contributes to the theme of life through a bubble's eyes. This poem seems to drift, much in the way that a bubble does. Then, as abruptly as a bubble bursting, the poem ends. Lovely.

Speaking of endings, I love the way this poem ended. Simply splendid.

[Dawn]

They fit together well! It was a bit long for me but the shorter lines helped, you know I can't pay attention for too long. You seem to be shifting a bit in your writing, I'd love it if you combined the "old" and "new" and see what comes up!

[Sandra K]

"the way
we speak
in misunderstandings"

this line is so true, i have experience with the line, for the past two week, but the more i think about it, we all have been raised in misunderstandings. Great line, i hope other have taken a moment to read this line and thing about it, and understand the meaning the same way i do. Thanks for sharing Travis.

Sandra K!

oh wow, yeah I am really impressed by this :)
I get a tad confused as to parts of it, but I'd really like you to explain it all to me as I wouldn't want to overlook a piece of work as great as this! I especially love this part:
"on a wet face
like fountain soda
carbonates"
tis just a bit ingenious to be honest!:) and I love the way you write: Pulls
back
down

with the gaps in to show the descent in the words as well as the meaning- you always have a great way of using spaces! You're an admirable writer :) xx well done xx

[Vince]

sweet sweet sweet, "the way we speak in misunderstandings"

we usually never truly mean what we say. Imagine if we were to tell everyone what it is we really thought of them. White lies makes the world run.

and man, I guess this Fabian G. Franklin guy didn't get what he wanted at the candy store! Don't know if he realizes it, but "nouveau cliche" is an oxymoron in itself. If things always need to make sense, then he shouldn't even be writing. Must be one of those who gets annoyed at the end of a movie or book because there's no "closure." Must throw away Lewis Carroll books and goes pooh-pooh, what a shame. My guess is he's never read Catch-22 either. Or he has and just didn't have the intelligence to understand it and appreciate it.

[J.P.O.et]

First of all I love the play on words
'move meant' and movement, really liked that
but I felt it lost some of its flow and meaning along the way
and that was explained by your author's note. There seems to
be a lot going on in here and I was a little lost in couple spots.

J.P.O.et
p.s. what a shot, I know y'all still baskin in the glory

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I failed to find any logical progression in this at all. I think its just wordy tripe. The last two verses actually represent an oxymoron. I see that other people like it though, interesting. My advice would be to scrap it and use parts of it to make some sense. And I'm not being mean, just honest. You have a few nouveau cliche's like "comforted by a simpler indifference to anything singular" How? How in the name of any god or muse can you determine that? Experience. Point of view is a singular perspective yet one can be comforted by the fact that someone else is indifferent to that? To me, that would piss me off to a point where "comforted" would not describe my attitude.

[Adam Jordan Turner]

Well they all fit together very, I couldn't tell you where one stops and another begins, I like the way you worked that out. This is great piece, very powerful, I love how you use so few words in your stanza's and they're all so strong, the build is quite stunning as well. Very nice write, I enjoyed as always!

[Alexzan Marie]

wow

so...lucid..I know, I stole that word but whatever.
It is true.

It is like a floating dream. An acid trip. The world from a bubble's perspective.

I like it

just like I like bubbles

Wonderful
As usual.

[No One Important]

it flows well, and it connects in wierdly lucid ways given the kind of disjointed way it all reads, almost dream like, but I do like it...