Wandering Wayward Without Hope

A night out

Crowds of crowded bars

captivate my counter culture,

consumed by consumption,

a fixed fascination

gone, immersed,

intent to involve my lost

preoccupied rapture,

wrapped in absence,

absorbed in abstractions,

bemused day dreams

faraway and forgetful,

heedless to the inattention

of my remote removed space

of unconsciousness,

withdrawn from all.

 

Absent, adrift, astray,

at sea, I am a cast away,

disappeared last decade,

irrecoverable, though

I lacked a kiss goodbye.

Mislaid, misplaced, missed,

obscured, off course, off track,

wandering wayward without hope.

Reviews

[No One Important]

You have a dangerous gift...a gift for imagery and substance sometimes lacking in this dreary world. we sometimes forget the pain of others when we are slighted. Your words in this poem and others remind me that we all feel pain and we all share doubt that it will get better...one of your best

[Clarisse Nanoit]

I adore this poem!! The last line REALLY throws it all together. Reminds me of part of the book Catcher In The Rye when Holden has nowhere to go one night, so he wanders around the city just looking for something to do and someone to do it with. Very good write. Thanks to Kristin Brecoe for sharing this one with me!!
KH

[April Child]

consumed by consumption,
a fixed fascination

This piece reads so well, I read it aloud. I like the message here and you have put it together very nicely.
Alliteration, good metaphors and descriptions, it works.

[Brenda Sue]

Looking for love in all the wrong places. I don't know why but that was the first thing I thought of after reading this. I love the imagery of this piece. Wonderfully penned. Great job.

[Kristin Brecoe]

This is amazing. This is how you make words powerful without using too many. My favorite part is
Absent, adrift, astray,

at sea, I am a cast away,


It's just sooo amazing!!!!
I'm gunna send a read request to some friends!
and add this to my favorites.
-Kristin

[J.P.O.et]

Yeah man
Love the alliteration of c's in the first three lines, Awesome
Like the short concise lines and the flow in this one.
You got some spitting ability here, you know
Really liking this one Travis
J.P.O.et

[Lyra H]

I love the flow in this! Each line, short and firm, pulled into a stream of smooth poetry. Excellent!

[Raef C. Boylan]

It seemed like you were going for semi-alphabetised alliteration...and then you weren't. Lol. Great job with the alliteration though, it increases the pace and places emphasis on each phrase/statement. The title turned out to be a little taster of what was to come, in terms of rhythm and repetition of sounds.
This is great - it really depicts modern youth lifestyle, and how lost those who are different can feel, when ipods and ringtones aren't their priorities. This contains some very strong imagery, and yet is floaty at the same time - I guess because it's slightly surreal/abstract and less restrictedly structured than a lot of poetry.

Overall, a good piece.
I enjoyed reading it; even though it's full of negative connotations, the beat lifts it up a little.

[Vince]

I'll have to remember to give my future kids a goodnight kiss lest they become irrecoverable too! Wouldn't want them to get lost because I was careless. The title makes it all the more contemplative..

haven't been online as much, been busier unfortunately. I will try to catch up later this week though with this site!

[Alexzan Marie]

I like the flow and the imagery in this...as I do in everything that you write but I think that the repetition of the initial sounds of all of your words makes it even more vivid. It is like backwards rhyming =)

[Sandra K]

I REALLY like this one Travis!
I believe that there is alot of us that can have a relation to be "lost" in one way or another.
Great Job!

Sandra K!