A Supposed Moment Of Her Impossibility

For Susan, of course.

The sun rose a seared red,

circled yellow and long,

sat and shared a shrunken sigh,

the relapse of a parched dream.

 

“Confess!”

 

Said a fiery witness to the careful memory

I’ve kept safe from her bullets.

 

Instead its pale hope was forfeit in silence.

 

She matures inside me,

down a sinking pit with unknown names and ends,

and knows how I keep her, though

I never could plant the verbal root so deep.

 

Arrived a sunny winter afternoon

without a word, and I was alone,

face up a windy hill of emerald

addicted to shiny endorphins.

 

Shells lay broken but not always empty.

 

Shade slunk in dark branched lines.

 

My mirage saw infinite green desert.

 

I walk and thirst for wings.

 

Suffered dust of dread quenches

green grass pulsed above an aquifer.

 

Steady and gone are the stars and nights

of uncharted years, when none could see the daylight.

 

Spring water swam and rippled softly through me,

like her swelled voice, as I tread from end to end,

without a breath, my entire body burned,

and I broke my motion with each stroke.

 

Indulgence numbs any human’s nature.

 

Affection drowns under its own slow faucet,

a drip for every thought of her,

into an empty glass of re-collected ambition.

 

Now I loveless wander an empty earth,

ready to fall at once from her essence,

rolling above a dark blue cloud,

to shade the gloom of certain showers.

 

I wrote to her,

 

“Fall asleep and press your yielded fingers on my nerves.

Close your eyes and slide toward mine.

Softly let the scent of your sweet dark hair rest under my chin

and caress my chest as you breath parched lungs.

You will feel the cycle of shivers roll down my spine.

Fire of trepidation shakes my cold skin.

It senses the surrounding prison,

the torment of our certain separation.

You have walked beside me in the cell

during my darkest moments of detention.

My thoughts envisioned your presence,

then sense stabbed my heart with sore absence.

The scar convinces me of your impossibility.

I agonize as my hopeless affection

stays grounded on silent phrases

I planned to speak outside my disparaged mind.

I planned to say,

‘Your eyes relieve me

of my wonders and worries.

You are why I’m alive.’

Now I wake each morning with a throb of regret

that you never heard my love song.

But when I confess this, to you,

I’m convinced we’ll part with broken hearts.”

 

The hardest thing I’ve ever done,

was to say anything at all.

 

Now I refuse, as black as closed lids.

 

She is all I need, but nothing too.

Author's Note

Two winter-break poems I just combined to form one! No ratings, just tell me your opinion... By the way, the picture is of my beloved Barton Springs, where I was supposed to meet her the day I wrote these poems, but...

Reviews

[J.P. Bristow]

"I never could plant the verbal root so deep."-------are you freaking kidding me??????? This line is so amazing I don't even think you have a clue lol lol lol........brilliant!

"The scar convinces me of your impossibility"----a line...a truth.....how we clutch the void.

"Your eyes relieve me
of my wonders and worries.".....its amazing how a look can floor us.....divide us....remind us........haunt us.

You really seem to write with a lot of passion and regret here but there is a beautiful acceptance of the inevitable.........its is alluring and humbling.

another hit......with me anyway.

[Vince]

There's the 'emptiness' again! This time, a faucet of memories dripping into a glass while still keeping it empty..sort of makes me feel a longing or regret, like being sorry for having met someone. It's funny that you mentioned endorphins too. I got the feeling of desperation and running away or towards something, sweating all the while. Sweat sure is shiny under the right light. Deep piece, exceptional!

[Christina]

I liked the emotion in this piece..i could sense your heartbreak in your words. wonderful imagery and beautiful words..

[KayOss]

Words cannot express what you've created in penning this poem. Reading your work is always an experience. You seem to involve all of the senses. We can not only see the scenes you paint, but also smell her and feel her as well. Men long to hold her and women long to be her. You strike at the heart with your work; we can experience the emotions you unleash within. I loved every word of this. You use language in new and unexpected ways and I love this. Pulling favorite lines from this would be an exercise in futility- I loved it all. It's always a pleasure to read your work.

[Emily B]

I love the seeming transposition of some of the words. The unexpected works in wonderful ways.

[J.P.O.et]

This is simply amazing, I thought it was going to be too long at first
but you nailed it with that one long verse where you wrote to her
'Now I loveless wander an empty earth,
ready to fall at once from her essence,
rolling above a dark blue cloud,
to shade the gloom of certain showers.'
This is really emotional and well done
J.P.O.et

[Sandra K]

"The hardest thing I've ever done,
was to say anything at all.
Now I refuse, as black as closed lids.
She is all I need, but nothing too."


I have been in some realationships, where i felt it was best to express how i felt, but it back fired, and didnt go so well. So now i just keep my mouth shut and not say anything at all. I feel it is better to have nothing than someone, but having that someone feels so good too.

Great poem. I really do enjoy your writing!

Sandra K!

[Shadows of Sight]

I could feel the essense of two themes bursting forth in your words! You have a wonderful way with packing so much imagery into each and every line!
You last line was pricesless; It summed up so much in this world and how we has humans want and need.
Great Write! :)

[Erin Phoenix]

Lovely...

Thats all I can say...

:)

[No One Important]

Truly evocative and richly detailed...my favorite line..."I walk and thirst for wings"...mind-blowing