Empty Nest

Someone I met relatively recently who left a strong impression...

since January she made a snug nest

                with sentence fragment sticks

                from her life tree

 

                and made them cozy

in curled up sleep and dreams

                I hide under a walnut shell

 

                fallen in from a branch below

                to lie in her warm impression

she perches and sings

 

                and singes my edges

                my seams alive and stretching

                memory and photos

 

synthesized into the longer letters

                that lit the cracks

                and let her light

 

                breeze coil my memory 

awake in cold wind

                an absence unlike

 

                when I was unaware

                of the empty nest

she was to make for me

 

                a hatched axis

                we crossed

                since January

Author's Note

I want you to read this three ways, first, with breaks every three lines, second, with breaks every four lines (hence the indentions), and only the non-indented lines.

Reviews

[KayOss]

Oh fun... I love poems that can be read more than one way. Each way you read it yields a slightly different message. Here, each reading felt like I was reading a new poem, but it was all one. It was all connected. I think I read it a couple of other ways besides, but I think that's okay too. Don't shoot me; I couldn't help it. This poem merits more than one reading.

I love this part:

since January she made a snug nest

with sentence fragment sticks

from her life tree

In each of my readings, I just got so much enjoyment from those lines. I think using "sentence fragment sticks" -and even the creation of them - struck me on some level deep inside. I love playing with language and the creation involved therein. You offer the reader a chance to play with the poem by reading them in different ways. I also like that you populated this poem with a life tree.

Perhaps a bit odd, but I do pick up a slight sense of foreboding within the poem. I am not sure it was intentional, but it adds quite a bit to the poem and is very nice. It cues the reader to be on the lookout for something. This is another hook... a device to pull the reader into the poem (though I must say that I was already hooked). Very well done.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

okay yes. i read it ever way i could except for backwards :P

really unique, and well thought out. i adore it.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

that's a lot to ask of me, especially this early in the morning.

this time, i read it just staright through, lol. but i'll try it your other ways, too... lol ... eventually :)

"she perches and sings

and singes my edges

my seams alive and stretching"

that part was amazing. regardless, no matter how you want me to read it, i love this. and i'm placing it in my library :)

hugs

[Shadows of Sight]

Wonderful! I love how it could be read so many ways and have different visions leap out at us!
Great Poem!

[No One Important]

Wow a depth and great feel of life and a kind of somber loss...excellent work

[Ember]

Wow, this is really good. Interesting flow any way you read it (and yes, I read it all three ways). Interesting phrases, good word choice, obviously.. Wonderful imagery and a good story. Well done!