Water Falls

The title says a lot

Misty rain drops

stopped as they

slowed down, time

released as mid-air

freezes.

 

Glued to the black space

they occupy all time

cohesive, broken

into thick strips

of brown hair,

green eyes, thin skin

and cold pale lips

that drip from the misty blue drops

like rain.

 

Further I wetly walk

forward and soak

into frozen films

freezing in time,

growing rain drops

on my nose’s peak,

cheeks and eye lashes

to collect condensation

too cold to drip

 

motionless

ice water down a tender throat

like blue blood

through an air-soaked

heart rate,

relieving

 

time thaws

a leaky faucet

dripping in my throat

as I walk forward,

the misty rain

drops.

Author's Note

This came to me a few days ago when I walked to my car in drizzle, but I decided to write most of it tonight. I may revise, I may not...

Reviews

[KayOss]

This is positively splendid. I loved reading this. The imagery here was wonderful; it was quite easy for me to picture this. In fact, the images sprang into my mind unbidden. They were lovely images. It's a fresh topic, too. Many people write about love or hurt. It's refreshing to see something a little different. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Oh, and you can revise if you see the need, but I've enjoyed this as it is now.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

yes yes well done. this is really well done :) i love how simple moments like that can trigger something so creative. this is very poignant, very touching, and brought forth a lot of different emotions for me. :)
well done

[Adam Jordan Turner]

Wow this is really good as well!!! I really like how visual this is! I guess that has a word but it won't come to me right now. Anyway, I like this one a lot!

[Tania Leigh]

That you could turn a mere walk to the car into something so poetic shows true talent.
I enjoyed this, as I've enjoyed all of your work, Travis. Great job!

[Vince]

funny how inspiration comes, no? just the simple things can do it, really. the first stanza already pulled me in, especially with the last line, giving all that attention to the word 'freezes.' i expected a similar ending for the last stanza was thoroughly rewarded!

[deadlife]

Indeed a splendid read. One can easily visualize and relate. Deeply.
And the beauty lies within..one can only interpret it in different forms.
What i felt reading it was something like a sad version.
Yet bright.
In a foggy morning..on a hilly plane..with all the green..the nature is blue..and you're walking..With heavy steps..it's raining timidly..so cold..and it's life dripping down...Drop after drop.
A beautiful write..with a great essence.
Food for thought.
Marvelous!

[DarkAngelWriter]

Wow. I love it. Don't revise. There's no need :)

[Shadows of Sight]

You did awesome! I could feel the dampness and the drops dripping down on me with your words!
I loved it! :)
It's been along time since i read a poem that gave live to rain the way you have so boldly exploded the images into my mind!
Great Write! I'd love to read what you would write about a windstorm! :)

[Sandra K]

I will call it a pretty poem! : D I enjoyed it!

[No One Important]

It is quite good...very visual and colorful

[J.P.O.et]

Ok, you know I love you but i wasn't enthused by the structure of the first verse
You have a tendency to finish so strongly though, which i feel again here
but I would not be honest if not to point that out. But who am i, no?
I like the flow better in the middle and like your theme
Always reading and reviewing though, no
Hollar at me now and again, Travis
J.P.O.et