Dawn

To my good friend Dawn, may one day we each find the woman in our dreams...

Oh twin sister,

my dark and lost Dawn,

I wish you'd rise to show the blue skies

that I see within your poem’s eyes.

 

I know what you are going through,

how you sleep in her moans

in resonance from the past you shared.

I sleep there, too, alone and with you.

 

We are capable of so much love

if we were ever given a chance

by those sweetly peculiar women,

who leave us without a closed door.

 

They ruin our pleasure with lonesome guilt,

and hundreds of airy unknown questions

wondering toward the ceiling fan on a depressed pillow

of music to support our restless heads.

 

It’s hard to take risks as pessimists,

so we creatively suffer from our passions,

and form them to relate our sensitive moments,

a lament for our ever discontent.

Reviews

[J.P.O.et]

The reference to 'twin sister' kinda thru me
When you talk about women who leave us without a closed door,
do you mean they leave the door open for other opps cause they
noy sure they truly love? Really strong last verse and like the ceiling fan
reference, I can never get enough of those, as I tend to stare at one myself
Woh, long review, not bad though
J.P.O.et

[J.P. Bristow]

lovely ....really lovely......!!

"by those sweetly peculiar women,
who leave us without a closed door."

this is a killer line.......actually both those stanzas were killer. (green with envy am I)....

[Erin Phoenix]

"I wish you'd rise to show the blue skies
that I see within your poem's eyes."
^
I like this!

[Dawn]

Very sweet, now if only I knew how to favorite it...

[Vince]

hmm, the wordplay on Dawn makes me think. It IS difficult to take risks. More so when you're a pessimist, I guess you're right. Pessimists are too busy holed up in their own little rut to really get up and change anyway, no? But optimists on the other hand, they're willing to jump, even if it means jumping off a mountain. It's funny how you mention her as a sister; I get the image more of a mother. Definitely more abstract than your others ones I think. Maybe I'm just not in the correct state of mind at the moment! The line about music supporting restless heads is great though, I'm guilty of it, always needing some type of noise to fill the silence.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I have to be honest, this one needed to be read a couple of times for me! But you know what, I really liked your closing verse...I thought it to be strong and could stand very well on its own!

: )
Kel

[No One Important]

I kind of get this...it seems to me to be above opportunities lost and never recovered and that you want the best for this girl...poignant and really good...