Late November

Inspired by James Joyce's "The Dead"

When sorrow’s swelling tide transcends,

ascended blues crash upon the sands of sore eyes,

and bury foresight’s white sails,

with siren songs of solace and solitude.

 

Sunken in the bottomless sea

of December’s sleepy song,

soothed spite leaks like ice,

chilled by a dream’s solemn nostalgia.

 

Swim beneath these frozen shores

to see the deepness of the dead,

the drowned ghost, his slumped head,

blind inside tsunami eyes.

 

When the light pours out,

he stares like a black hall

at ominous waves rising

to endless heights.

 

His shadowed ship slowly floats,

hidden behind his dimming essence,

down the darkest passage,

below the floor of an empty ocean.

 

Escape that silent image,

deeply breathe the sea away,

and through the bedroom window,

watch winter dye the colors gray.

Reviews

[J.P.O.et]

I agree with adyvb, your use of color in this piece is exceptional
I feel undereducated as I will soon be looking up Joyce's 'The Dead', once again you have inspired me to enlighten myself
'blind inside tsunami eyes', I love this line
'watch winter dye the colors grey'
Good read
J.P.O.et

[Vince]

I guess this is how it must be to read Moby Dick! I'm not sure if you were looking for a rhythmic pattern, but if it could do without it, in the last stanza, you can delete "eerie" because as a reader, I already felt it by the end, the feeling. I'm not sure if the writer making the acknowledgment that it IS indeed eerie would detract from that or not. It sort of did for me. But quality poetry as usual!

[The Archangel Gabriel]

What a beautiful assault on the senses! So many wonderful images in rapid succession. A veritable whirlwhind of words. Well done.

-Gabe

[Maxwell]

There's a word for alliteration of 's''s and I can't remember what it is. Haha, anyway, you do it beautifully in this line: "blind inside tsunami eyes" (I suppose it's also partly the 'i''s as well). This is probably my favorite line I've read in all your works so far.

I actually very much like the fact that you only rhyme in the last stanza, because it's good up until then, it becomes even more powerful at the end. Second line in that stanza, do you mean "breathe" instead of "breath"?

If I had to ask you to improve something, I would say the fifth stanza is not up to par with the rest. Maybe there's something awkward about using adjective-noun at the end of every line. But, as a whole, it's quite excellent, much better than I could do. Thanks for posting this.

[No One Important]

OMG!!! Poignant and rich in detail...a bounty of sights, sounds, and a great use of color. Amazing!!!