Manicured Feet

for MS

Yes, you will love again.
Your heart will survive this
It may not be what you imagine now-
but you will.
You will probably love her
for not being me.
For having eyes that see you
instead of beyond you.
For an instep on an arched foot
whose toes do not have garden dirt
caked into crevices;
with the nails, polished, not ragged.

You will love her for the
song of sanity she sings like relief
through your bored and isolated days.

And you will love her
for being someone who reads poetry
but who is dependable enough
to not need to live it.

Yes, you will love again,
and she will be worth
the world you offer her
on the strings for the shoes
to cover
her perfectly manicured feet
because you never did grasp
why some of us need to live Life
...barefoot.

Reviews

[arbitrary jane]

true and only the slightest bit scathing. ah, maria my kinswoman ... for those of the barefoot clan... we who need to feel the earth, the sand, the hot pavement, the wet dewy grass, the rough tree branches and cool spanish tiles... who can't resist wading knee-deep into whatever body of water we happen to come across... who want nothing shielding us from our understanding of the world... you will love again, too.

[Tree]

Beautiful, and heartbreaking. Without compromising.

[Mary]

beautifully written, demonstrating that there indeed is out there someone for everyone, he he.

[theludus]

I would like to say that the format for this kind of a poem is that of 'the vent'
and so often that's what people do, and because so many people do do that
and because what they often do is just vent- i wasn't prepared to like this. i do.

i think the first strophe is a bit startling in a matter of fact and good way. you open us to this truth and there is nothing harsh about it, though, there is something hard about it, and there is a difference. like the narrator actually cares. and cares too much, for herself- that's how she's able not to care. my tangled explanation is just that, but this is complex and simple, your poem.

a couple of things.

second strophe. i don't think the poem loses anything if you don't say bored and isolated. you could definitely lose bored. i guess i'm saying a phrase will suggest a line of logic and often you don't then need to say it.

i thought it might be nice to just have.... to sing to relief
your isolated days.

i suggest that because the danger in this poem/a poem of this type is in having it degenerate into a rant. or a bitter thing. so, i think it's better to be very subtle and let us 'maybe' go down that road. to take us down that road is a bit laboured or base imo.

thrid strophe.

i reckon to need not to live it. & i think you can phrase it that way because a person's makeup will suggest what their needs are. if a person is this and this and dependable, then their need is not to....

last section. i like the last 3 lines but the setup before that, it feels like the wind up with a sequence of articles, each one pertinent to the correct alignment of the planet, it's quite a breath. &, again, i think you can convey that you thing and provide the greater sentiment by not making it a mad thing. that's not to say that anger is only residual, just that, as far as life goes, and this you goes it feels so much less important.

what i loved about the poem was not the fact of what he was or wasn't but that sense of who you are. i understand the two things are important in conveying that message, that is why i loved the statement. i would work on this some more, sure, but i do think it resides as a very good poem.

db

[Larry Dyson]

i believe Emma said it best...There are phrases in this that near turn the heart over .. 'For having eyes that see you ~ instead of beyond you.' - almost as if you seize a thought and make it stays still, not evaporate. You have the means of running, barefoot or not, with ideas and have them romp rather than plod .. your words skip with joy and wisdom, ' And you will love her ~ for being someone who reads poetry ~ but who is dependable enough ~ to not need to live it. ' You know how, oh barefooted one.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

OK! .... thats go directly and fast to my Favorited .... love the style , love the words , prefer bare feet ... prefer a real woman , much more interesting

[emmajoy]

There are phrases in this that near turn the heart over .. 'For having eyes that see you ~ instead of beyond you.' - almost as if you seize a thought and make it stays still, not evaporate. You have the means of running, barefoot or not, with ideas and have them romp rather than plod .. your words skip with joy and wisdom, ' And you will love her ~ for being someone who reads poetry ~ but who is dependable enough ~ to not need to live it. ' You know how, oh barefooted one.

[kmartell]

Getting it out...this is about the writer of this, getting rid of the guy who cannot see you...the words used are just right which I like. The bird is always left behind after you see it, it remains, the words here last longer than the poem.

[Ed Hart]

me tarzan, you marie...what do you think of my feet...and, what's poetry