poem: The Rise of a New Biryonim

Deconstruction of a letter received from a former best freind, out of the blue, while living in a hut on a mountaintop in a foreign country.

We

(Your best friend,the declared atheist

and

her agnostic husband)

 

are praying for

(Is not the intent of prayer to be a private discourse between an individual and his or her Creator?

What do you gain by telling me you are praying?)

 

your

(Why was I selected?)

 

soul

(Does my soul (if it even exists in the form you mean) require your prayer?

I thought it was in the care of my Creator?)

 

because we don't want

(Ah yes the united religious front- penultimate couplespeak.

"Look we have our s**t together, and we'd like to point out

 the fact that

YOU

are still single,

so we MUST be doing something right that you just are not)

 

to see

(When did the phrase "to see" start to mean

"for it to come to pass"?)

 

you burn

(What? I am the godmother of your three children!

What exactly have I done now to deserve your damnation

if you trust me with the spritiual life of your offspring?)

 

in the fiery lake

(Are you really saying I am, in your eyes, now one of the

"fearful, abominable, murderers, whoremongers, sorcerors, idolators, or liars"

for whom this punishment is

specifically prescribed?)

 

for eternity.

(Is it not self-serving to modify your translation of your sacred texts in order to inflict your version of Hell

upon those

"whose viewpoints differ from mine?"

It seems your newfound religion

wishes condemnation for me-

for no good reason, other than,

my view is not

yours.

and... what's worse...

secretly...

you

LIKE

the thought.)

 

Author's Note

This was written for CHL's "Altar" Contest. The line I deconstruct is from an actual letter received by a friend who was a very recent, overnight convert to a very radical and narrow form of Christianity. I tired to relive the sense of increduality I felt upon reading the letter, which was simpering, stupid, and trite in its entirety.

I will probably modify as I go along. Feedback appreciated.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Marie,

Ah, zealotry. A Biryonim indeed. Unfortunately, as I'm sure you know, there is nothing to do. People such as this cannot be changed. They are fixed in their point of view to a degree that transcends all possibility of doubt. They know they are right. ABOUT EVERYTHING!

Now to the poem. Wonderful. I can just feel your mental grappling with the inconsistencies of their position. You echo strongly what would have gone through my head had I received such a letter. Rest assured, we are both doomed to eternal damnation. Perhaps the best recourse is to find some marshmellows and weenies to roast over that firery lake.

Best regards,

Rick

[An owl on the moon]

My... just read twice... so powerful. First off, the words of the letter are stinging in their coldness and lack of grace or love. And your reflections are profoundly powerful... unwinding the cords of truth and underlying messages.. This is a startling expression that simply stuns me. May love rise from the ashes we have made of the world.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

nothing is more enthusiastic and less tactful than a new true believer. i don't know why. maybe it's just human nature. even bob dylan, in his brief side trip into born again christianity, became a zealot of sorts for two albums. i only have one little piece of advice. don't write these folks off forever. sometimes sanity returns.

[Analgesia]

Alright, I have a lot to say, but I will attempt to be both brief and cordial. This kind of action: "I will pray for you because you are going to Hell." is absolutely counterintuative to the purpose of evangilism. All christians (and I say that meaning people who are true christians) understand that we all sin, constantly, all day, every day, in the ballroom with the wrentch, etc. And for this reason it is irresponsible to put up this kind of pridefull (that's a sin by the way) front. If you want to evangilise someone do it through kindness and your love of God not becuase you think you are better than someone else. I apologize that you have been wronged in this way. People do stupid petty things all the time and sometimes we don't notice them but if this person is a Christian they should represent us better than that, regardless of how hard it is to do. Please do not assume Christians are all like this person, thank you.

Also...(very sorry for that above, I'm sure it's a bit much.)...Your syntax diction and insightfull commentary were very much appreciated. Thank you for writing something worth reading, I hope I was of some assistance.

[Ed Hart]

this is absolutely wonderful...I have no higher praise...

[Sara]

i like it and can readily sympathize with you - coming from bible-belt texas, i deal with this kind of religious patronizing and pushiness all the time, from both family and the people around me. in the poem, i think you balance your frustration and anger with just the right amount of sarcasm, making it both readable and relatable. i especially love the line "ah yes the united religious front- penultimate couplespeak" - so, so true :) ... good job

[Jamie S.]

Wow, I can see why this person is a former best friend, ouch. I agree, they sound ignorant and closed minded. I think your deconstruction is both neccessary and hits the nail on the head. Thank you for sharing, Im sure this must have hurt to recieve from a friend.