poem: The Rise of a New Biryonim

Deconstruction of a letter received from a former best freind, out of the blue, while living in a hut on a mountaintop in a foreign country.

We

(Your best friend,the declared atheist

and

her agnostic husband)

 

are praying for

(Is not the intent of prayer to be a private discourse between an individual and his or her Creator?

What do you gain by telling me you are praying?)

 

your

(Why was I selected?)

 

soul

(Does my soul (if it even exists in the form you mean) require your prayer?

I thought it was in the care of my Creator?)

 

because we don't want

(Ah yes the united religious front- penultimate couplespeak.

"Look we have our s**t together, and we'd like to point out

 the fact that

YOU

are still single,

so we MUST be doing something right that you just are not)

 

to see

(When did the phrase "to see" start to mean

"for it to come to pass"?)

 

you burn

(What? I am the godmother of your three children!

What exactly have I done now to deserve your damnation

if you trust me with the spritiual life of your offspring?)

 

in the fiery lake

(Are you really saying I am, in your eyes, now one of the

"fearful, abominable, murderers, whoremongers, sorcerors, idolators, or liars"

for whom this punishment is

specifically prescribed?)

 

for eternity.

(Is it not self-serving to modify your translation of your sacred texts in order to inflict your version of Hell

upon those

"whose viewpoints differ from mine?"

It seems your newfound religion

wishes condemnation for me-

for no good reason, other than,

my view is not

yours.

and... what's worse...

secretly...

you

LIKE

the thought.)

 

Author's Note

This was written for CHL's "Altar" Contest. The line I deconstruct is from an actual letter received by a friend who was a very recent, overnight convert to a very radical and narrow form of Christianity. I tired to relive the sense of increduality I felt upon reading the letter, which was simpering, stupid, and trite in its entirety.

I will probably modify as I go along. Feedback appreciated.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Marie,

Ah, zealotry. A Biryonim indeed. Unfortunately, as I'm sure you know, there is nothing to do. People such as this cannot be changed. They are fixed in their point of view to a degree that transcends all possibility of doubt. They know they are right. ABOUT EVERYTHING!

Now to the poem. Wonderful. I can just feel your mental grappling with the inconsistencies of their position. You echo strongly what would have gone through my head had I received such a letter. Rest assured, we are both doomed to eternal damnation. Perhaps the best recourse is to find some marshmellows and weenies to roast over that firery lake.

Best regards,

Rick

[Closedown]

Insightful. I often thought the same when I recieved this sort of thing.

[Maggie Moore]

It's amazing that I am a Christian, and completely agree with what you wrote. Some would take offense, maybe because people need to believe that they are right and others are wrong. If a person believes in God, and trusts that he will take care of all their needs, why is it so hard to believe that he will so the same for someone else. I have never met a perfect christian, but have met many who love to point out inperfections. I don't understand why, but I believe that God is perfect even though we are not, and a perfect God has a perfect plan for everyone. Whether they believe in him or not. To each his own.

[Benten]

Well put! I'm somewhat ashamed I did not think of it first. :) Having grown up amongst the most evangelical of Christians I can easily relate to your annoyance. Way to sublimate instead of alienate. I really like your text!!!!!

[Georgia Gypsy]

It always amazes me how when people 'get religion' suddenly they need to inflict their disease on their 'damned' friends.....i have been almost every religion out there throughout my childhood---and was chastized by fellow church goers because i disagreed with them telling another person she was going to hell for not dressing as this paticular religion prescribed.....
Makes me think of how much like cattle people are....one starts running, the next thing you know its a stampede!
Great 'deconstruction'!!

[holly]

You write your answer and rejection of your former friend's hurtful letter with cold, clear points of logic. Although myself one who lays a tentative claim to Christianity, I'm relieved that you know that your former friend's version isn't the only one. Although, the outrage and pain in "...secretly...you LIKE the thought..." rather condemns all of us who want a special relationship with the I Am. Truly, I can't say that I enjoy or like this write since it brings home that hypocrisy that we Christians are often heir to. But it's right on the money. Good work!

[Alicante lullaby]

well,you see such self righteous b******s here in every street.

[Tate Morgan]

this is one of the best pieces I have read on the cafe

[Tate Morgan]

Oh god this is so understandable and so strange God if you are out there please strike me now so i don't run into another damning christian .lol
You take this so well I love the way you did it i adore it actually I wrote a poem called The martyrs about this very thing I think you a genuine genius of enlightenment .