To Our Men While We Are Awaiting Our Visitor

C made me do it...

Enjoy the D-cups while ye may

These breasts so fantastically swollen

tender and sensitive defines the day

as this week, ye shall also often find me bawlin'.

 

The glorious feel of abdominal bloating

as my pants go up three full sizes

and progesterone makes me start doting

on the world's saddest headlines as the sun it rises.

 

This time be best which just precedes

my womb's monthly gifting

the littlest slights upon which my temper feeds

help make my company now so damned uplifting.

 

Be not shy, dear man, and use this time

to fleetingly partake of this bosom of thy dreams

if you survive this week to reach your prime

bulwark thy self for next month's banshee screams.

 

Author's Note

I've been posting a lot of dark and sad stuff lately... thought I'd break it up a bit.
Please enjoy my romp, and see it in the spirit in whcih it is meant.
By the way, folks, this is why I don't typically rhyme. It all comes out like Dr. Seuss on acid when I try.

A tongue-in-cheek rewrite of Herrick's classic "To Virgins, to Make Much of Time", hence the reason for the antiquated structure, the ye's and thou's, etc. This is NOT how I normally write.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

Banshee screams, indeed. I'm giggling now, trying to write something serious. True, nature does lay a peculiar burdon on women folk, but please look at us guys. Not only are on the receiving end of said screams, but we have to forgo doctor visits and suffer with all manner of physical affliction. Even if you could make us see a doctor, we won't allow ourselves to ask directions to her office.

[Jamie S.]

My kids are wondering why mommy is laughing so hard at the computer!!! My hubby recently learned the hard way not to poke the banshee during her time while stuck in the car with her,lol. Funny writing....thanks Marie, I needed a good laugh!!

[:)]

haha but it's such a mature version of Dr. Seuss. lol
thanks for sharing
:)

[raining]

...oh I do recall marriage and all of its mystery. single now and slightly lonely, but there are some things one does not miss. it's well written, and alot of good humor.

...and the New England Patriots were robbed....there mark guy...

[Ed Hart]

In my tribe, we used to stick 'em all in a hut. We never could figure out why they went in screaming, and stayed in the whole time laughing. Crazy, I guess....

[Ellen Hammond]

ROFL I love your sense of humor! Being able to laugh at ourselves is the best way to survive and enjoy life in spite of the pitfalls we face. Your rhyming in this piece is delightful!

[cest la vie]

OH I love this and I love Yos's review.. Helmet, head and duck...LOL..

I used to look for this time, the only time I maintained a good "B" size...LOL
Once my Dad had to go to the store to buy me "girl stuff". He came back, baggged tucked under arm, looking all around like he was carrying some CIA documents..

So I suggest men just grab the pilow, blanket and head to the garage. C-ya in a week honey!!!

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Thats so funny , I thought to write something the same, from man's point of view , its funny that you did it before .... and my suggestion to all men all over, just buy a nice helmet, get the head between your legs, and wait until the wave is over .... Just dont say ANYTHING! :-) Yossi

[Georgia Gypsy]

OMG!!!! Yes i know too well this!! And you did such a great job in making it funny!! (and yet it is so NOT!!)

[Mark]

'Scuse much, but have you SEEN Dr. Suess's drawings? Wasn't he on acid pretty much ALL the time??
Glad to see a woman who has retained enough of her sanity in this most re-doubling troubling week (to say nothing of all else she's retaining!) to poke a little good-natured fun at her kith. Thanks for the giggle...Oh, and by the way:

DA SAINTS GOIN' TO DA SUPER BOWL!!!
................DA SAINTS GOIN' TO DA SUPER BOWL!!!
....................................DA SAINTS GOIN' TO DA SUPER BOWL!!!
....................................................................... YEEE-HAAAAWWW!!!