Reflected in Water

written for a contest of succinct pjilosophy - the meaning of life in 16 lines or less

 

Reflected in Water

I feel sorry for those who walk,

    Along the beach, the hot sun baking their desires as sand into glass

Always testing the water with fingers or dipping of toes

        Evaluating the qualifications of the lifeguard- but never actually

 

Diving or jumping or wading or slipping or even being pushed

   Into the rolling surf itself

Waiting … for the right temperature, the perfect timing, permission, even-

 Assurance of continued safety. Promised absence of sharks.

 

Forgetting that the point of it all really is

     To simply learn what it is and how it feels to drown.

The sky they see reflected in the water as empty as the spaces

    Their lives were meant to fill.

Reviews

[Through the Gateway]

A wonderful piece, calling out to each of us to seize each and every opportunity to actually *live*. Indeed, if we continually wait for the perfect time, life will pass us by and we will look back onto the surf that was our life and notice...we never once tested the waters.

A beautiful and inspiring piece, Marie!

[Ms. Gruye]

The sky they see reflected in the water as empty as the spaces
Their lives were meant to fill.

what a wonderful statement.
that will give me something to think about instead of sleeping this evening.
viva la

[hoyt]

love this write! A very lyrical way to point out a simple truth, with clear imagery. We should never let fear or uncertainty dictate our life direction, because if one does the direction is only a circle. We must jump,..
"Jump, and the net will appear" :-)

[Ladysue]

This is brilliant. Filled with wisdom and inspiration. Flawless imagery. Excellent piece of writing...Very moving, thought provoking and profound work. You conveyed this message perfectly...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Some really terrific philosophical advice penned in this wonderful poem... I think of the line from Sixx A.M. song Life Is Beautiful that goes "You can't live until you died"... I believe often that the bad things that happen in life help make us appreciate the good. Needless to say I loved this piece.

[An owl on the moon]

This is so deeply moving, thoughts and feelings reaching inside us, flowing around us. Existence, so hard to define, yet you capture the feel of it so well. "To simply learn what it is and how it feels to drown." To be absorbed by all the life is. So wonderfully expressed!

[Orlando Murcia]

Very well written
you captured a lot of imagery
as you were writing it

Very nice!!

Orlando M

[Clockwork]

Two things really stuck out at me when I read this piece. The first was the tone of the piece. It was strong and seemingly casual at the same time. The second was this line: "Along the beach, the hot sun baking their desires as sand into glass."

[Poeticpiers]

beautifully presented in poetic prose.An attempt to state the purpose of existence