The Little Woman

A little girl follows me around and talks to me

The Little Woman

A little nameless girl used to peer at me with curiosity many days
   from behind long bangs, her shy face
partially hidden, the way she wants to be, I think, a little mysterious, an imp of the fields.
She always asked me the darndest questions, and she followed me everywhere, it seemed.

When I was in a business meeting, she interrupted to ask me,
   “Why don’t you speak up?” and I responded,
  “When you are an adult there are some times when you cannot say what you are thinking”
She was puzzled, but she played the answer back in her mind, and said nothing.

When she caught me thinking about my friend again, she inquired,
     “Why don’t you just tell him you love him?”
and I replied, “I’m not sure if I do”  and then:
  “besides, I am afraid he would not believe me” and she thought about this and said nothing.

There was a fine spring day when I was working late in the office, and she demanded,
      “Why don’t you go outside and play? You love to be outdoors
Where the sun caresses you and the birds sing to you” and I said,
“I have work that must be done tonight”, and she said, “OK I see”, but nothing more.

One day I realized I hated my job, and she was there to see me, and asked,
    “Why don’t you figure out a way to leave?” and I told her,
“Maybe one day I will but right now, it’s just not that simple”
 and she wanted to know, “What isn’t?”, and I had no answer that would satisfy her.

She found me crying one of many days, and gently asked me,
     “Why are you afraid to tell him this isn’t working for you any more?”
and I told her “I promised him I would try, and for once, I need to keep my word”
 and the little girl said, “but what about the promises you make to yourself?”

Finally one day I decided to try to find God,
and the little girl wasn’t around any more, and I realized I missed her more than anything
       I heard her ask, from someplace far away,
“Why are you always so afraid to choose what would bring you joy?” and I thought about it.

I said, “I do not know how to recognize it when I have it” and she responded,
       “That is what I was there for” and I realized she was telling the truth.
I could not find her any more, no matter how directed my search.
She was lost, and no amount of seeking on my part could find her hiding place.

I had to figure out, on my own,  the answers she would have told me before I was allowed to realize that what I sought had been there all along.






 

Reviews

[cest la vie]

Such a heartfelt, endearing write. Why do we as humans need trumpets and flares to see and hear the obvious. The little girl (you) was whispering loud, yet she was not heard. Until... This is a beautiful piece.

[Mark]

But, of course, the little girl was you, all along, wasn't she?
Do you suppose that that kernal of elusive truth most of us seek is in fact God, hidden within the heart of the child we have spent our entire adult lives stifling? And that that may be why we never find either joy, or God?

[Phibby Venable]

i love all those parts of you that the child kept trying to pull to the
surface & how this ends with trying to find God, which is something
we do alone. And the realizations of wisdom the writer gains. wonderful.

[Jibey]

Full of charm... the nicely composed verses build up a neat story of the wisdom that comes from the mouths of babes... the simple, unaffected truth that so often we resists in the complex confusions of our lives... I enjoyed reading this... Maybe the end was best unsaid... we understood. *smiles*

[Emily B]

that moment, the one where you ask a question of the air and the answer comes back to you from the Universe, those are the best answers!!!

[Fernando Pessoa]

I love your writing and all the feelings that come up when reading through your words. This imagery of this dear child, her profound questions and life... simply beautiful in every way.

George Santayana: "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child."

[Through the Gateway]

I cried a little. I know a little boy who once did the same thing. I miss him so.

Beautiful.

[Vesa Lee]

Oh my, this is -exactly- the sentiment I had tried so hard to express in my own piece.
The refusal to live...
You explain it so much better than I did.
Thank you so much for sharing.
It made my heart glad to read.

[raining]

oh, this is wonderful.... oh, it made me sad at the end...
it should win any old contest, or better than any contest and if you dont win then they dont know what they are talking about.

[DC Gentleman]

This was so great on very different levels. So often we deny ourselves true happiness because of fear. We all need a small voice full of child like exuberance to push us where we need to go.

Awesome..