![]() Reading Your Father's ObituaryA Poem by Marie Anzalone![]() translated from my original in Spanish![]()
Your father has died… four months ago. Nobody in the family bothered to pick up a phone, send a text. You find out by accident. They were thorough in their hate of you- they erased you, your cousin, a mother, grandmother, and two wives- from the family history. None of you mattered enough to appear in an obituary. supposed to feel when a parent dies- gratitude, for bringing you into the world, feeding you, the 8 years he tried to act like a parent to you husband to your mother. He taught you to look through a camera lens, carry a backpack, identify a bird. This you take with you. This you can say, thank you, for. He also taught you: terror. loss. violence. how to steer a car when your parent is drunk. broken promises. that you are not worth investing in. to choose lovers who will abandon you in small and large ways, to choose partners who cannot be depended on to be there tomorrow. These are things you must work on. He taught you to defend the voiceless because they were also his favorite target. Maybe you fight a little more than you could, because you know how it feels when nobody is fighting, to keep you. Go if you want, they all say. You stop and wonder, how are you supposed to feel when a parent dies? What if that parent was not worth your tears, and you cry, anyway? Oh how you long to hear those magic words you matter, you matter, you matter, you matter- I want you here I am here You are not alone. It is after his death, you realize why you abandon yourself so much, so very much, loving so much, so very much men who you fear, deep down, will see your flaws- you will wake up one day and realize that they, too always loved someone or something more, than the unlovable you, they taught you, you are. is the way you rose to prove to the world, you are worth being loved, needing love, asking to be loved. The tragedy is, you had to learn all of that, on your own. © 2023 Marie AnzaloneReviews
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1 Review Added on January 25, 2023 Last Updated on January 25, 2023 AuthorMarie AnzaloneXecaracoj, Quetzaltenango, GuatemalaAboutBilingual (English and Spanish) poet, essayist, novelist, grant writer, editor, and technical writer working in Central America. "A poet's work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to ta.. more..Writing
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