Fast Enough

Someone I cared about deeply, was killed this morning in an accident

Tonight, there is nothing else

I could write of, except you.

 

They say, you never know

the last time you kiss someone

goodbye, that it really IS

the last time.  I remember

the first time you kissed me,

and the last. I was moved

to write you poetry the first time;

I am obligated to write for you,

now. I wished you joy, I wished

you, well. Of that, I am glad.

 

You said

so many things that night

that I am still processing

in my heart, tonight. You said,

 

Life has been unbearable, and

I do not want to get any older.

You said, I will never have all

that I need, and all this striving

is so pointless- everything

feels to be without meaning.

You asked me to help you

find renewal in your life again.

You said, I dreamed again that

we made love in that forest,

in the dark, in the light rain,

surrounded by fireflies, on

a bed of pine needles

and so many intimacies.

 

When I told you [gently enough,

I hope] I am sorry, but you waited

too long; my heart is bound

for better or worse, elsewhere now,

but I wish you every happiness

this world can give you, and more;

you told me, Then I think I have

to make a long journey

sometime soon. That was the night

the wall sprung an inexplicable leak

and flooded my house; that was

the same morning I dreamed

I would never see you again. It was

the night you told me you were trying

to make that bike of yours run

fast enough to lift off the ground

and fly- escape those demons

that were pursuing you

on the ground.

 

You told me, 120 wasn’t sufficient;

that tomorrow you would try for

130. They told me the news today.

You did not tell me how far

you thought you would need

to travel. The whole damned city

flooded tonight, for you. It is

almost raining hard enough to

do justice to the storm in my soul.

You were right, my friend. None

of this makes any sense. It was all

lived too fast. I hope the end was quick.

I hope you had no time, to feel it.

I hope that not all of it, however,

was completely senseless.

 

You meant more, to so many

of us, than you can ever know.

 

Author's Note

written as a meditation on the theme, "senseless," as an activity for our poetry club. One of our members died today, way too young, in an accident. There really was nothing else I could have written about today. RIP, my friend. For Aroldo.

Reviews

[Stephanie M]

Intense. That was a heartfelt tribute to your friend. It reminded me of the last time I talked to my stepdad, before cancer took him. I got the impression that your friend had just given up on life, before the catastrophe. It seemed like he was ready to go. At least your friend is in a better place now. He has finally found peace. My sympathies.

[Katsura]

What a beautiful poem. This captures the loss of one dear to us very well. The ruminating we do on our interactions with them brings up memories we could not access before the dread incident. I hope that you have been able to see how grief is truly a form of love rather than a type of sadness.

[SkinlessFrank]

what can one do after such an event by write and write and write and try to make sense of something that in one's mind can not ever make sense....your spinning caught me up in this tale

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you, Frank. Yes write and write and process is all we can do. Our community is devastated by his loss. I appreciate your words above ability to express.

[emmajoy]

Oh my dear, dear R. Has been a while since I read your writing and.. now.. this.. heart - breaking, mind-shatterinbg news so gently, sadly put. You've described the tragedy with such deep, deep emotion, each phrase laid respectully and lovingly. No other words but - absolute respect and more sorries that can be said, here to you, way across the world. Hugs as ever always.. Blessings, dear heart.

' .. .. that was the same morning I dreamed ~ I would never see you again. It was the night you told me you were trying ~ to make that bike of yours run fast enough to lift off the ground ~ and fly- escape those demons that were pursuing you - opn the ground.. ' Maybe Aroldo will come across dear Gabriel.

[Marie Anzalone]

Dearest emma, your words and kindness are so very appreciated. My friend "visited" me several times before and after writing this. Another visitor to the house, who did not know him, also met him. His energy is gone now- I think he finally crossed. He was such a bright, good soul and the world needed him. I loved him, and I miss him terribly. If anyone was meant to meet Gabriel, he was certainly on the list.

[emmajoy]

My brother and I send you a hug, dear, dear friend. There's always a time when.. we pray harder than ever before.. but.. need accept the gasp of air that fades, however painful. Dearest lovely friend.
Always. (R.)