braying

something light, something fun

Your words give you up as a rednecked a*s

It grows tedious to cover this tainted ground

Can you not see when you've been outclassed?

 

Your logic has flaws sized for a semi to pass

A braying forked tongue not truthfully bound

Your words give you up as a rednecked a*s

 

Too long have we endured your one-way glass

An empty stage and the magician is not found

Can you not see when you've been outclassed?

 

Astonishing vitriol hoarded for one uppity lass

Hollow assertions, frothing saliva all around

Your words give you up as a rednecked a*s

 

Your argument implodes into senseless morass

Nothingness the name of that peculiar sound

Can you not see when you've been outclassed?

 

Your sermon teaches how to sexually harass

The fly in my room is infinitely more profound

Your words give you up as rednecked a*s-

Can you not see when you've been outclassed?

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

we all have that one person in our lives.
this is NOT to be taken seriously.
words can be cathartic.
any resemblance to real persons is likely not coincidence... as I said, we all have that one person. Characteristics tend to overlap.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

i know this redneck and i know this uppity lass (how convenient that it rhymes with a*s)...it seems we have forgotten what this site is for of late, and the gypsies are robbing the palace....oh, well....as my dad used to say...that's the way it is some days going west...maybe the commancheros will get them bye and bye....

[Marie Anzalone]

You a Harry Potter fan? It's like facing a boggart. Riddikulus! Poof- problem gone.

Laughter is the ONLY thing that works in some situations. Throw back your head and bust a gut when it gets too much. My wise co-worker Ramon says people like this, "are here to be the pepper and salt of your life."

It is time for you and I to think of many things... like a collaboration we were thinking. Will not have time tonight, but maybe tomorrow; if not, Wednesday?

[quinfinn]

i don't do hairy pooter....but i would love that collab!

[ríða andlit]

Yuck. I definitely don't want to sprinkle essence of redneck on my scrambled eggs!

[Marie Anzalone]

agreed with you there, BRS.

[Chris]

Being taken "out" with such verve and class... would be an honor.

[rew]

It's good. a villanelle. So, immediately outclassing any an' all rednecked asses. Excellent. regards from rew.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Wonderful Villanelle! I loved every sarcastic-dripping word. And yes, we all have one of those kinds in our lives that we wish would just go away. Wonderful write dear.

[Marie Anzalone]

Thanks, Lori; not something I usually do but words can be so cathartic sometimes. Glad you stopped by :-)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I have met a few braying asses in my day...typically, if left to their own devices, they bray on for a while and then get bored before moving on to a patch of nice spring grass to munch on. I think we can all relate to this in one way or another. My therapist actually told me that I surround myself with your proverbial asses, and that I have to take care because they seem to be drawn to me in some odd way. haha So, I shall take this out into the world with me tomorrow and watch out for donkeys, burros and just stick to riding my horses. A fun write indeed...thank you for sharing!

[Marie Anzalone]

Copy it, print it out and take it with you, then! I too seem to be a beacon for them; always have been. I think they tend to be insecure men who are threatened by an intelligent and accomplished women, although there are plenty of women to be found who fit that bill, as well. On a side note, my horse and I got along real well after I gelded him. I bring THAT story out for dates who I never want to see again. Being an animal scientist does have its advantages sometimes. Animal behavior is so interesting to sit back and document, isn't it?

This was a romp to write, and I am glad it brightened your day. Thanks for stopping by!

[ríða andlit]

Ya know, when your greatest claim-to-fame is growing up in a town akin to Mayberry, you might be a redneck.

[Marie Anzalone]

Mayberry was prosperous and cultured by our standards. They were still shooting people for withcraft in the 1950s where I grew up. You'd get invited on dates to the local dump to shoot rats for an evening. I had the pick-up line, "we're only 4th cousins, we can date." One of my best friends from gade school is raising his son to be a lumberjack because, "them book-larned people jest don't know how ta work hard, and he don't take so well ta reading an' all, and I jus' niver saw the point." Where men are men and wimmin folk know their place. Did I mention I left home at age 17 and never went back to stay?

This individual would fit right in with the rat-hunters of the dump.

[lee von cleef]

I am alive and well
Live in the south
what the hell
My tan is a embarrassment to many,
Yes my neck is red,shoulders white,
Hands cracked and callused
But I kin read and listen without malice,
My redwood deck is no palace,
A flying squirrel is my pet
She shares the house and I share my pocket
Raisins corn and Hickory nuts
I love Marie and she Loves me
Nuthing as pure as reading poetry to a flying squirrel.

[Marie Anzalone]

Hahahaha lee in the north we rednecks have red squirrels in the house and read to northern flying squirrels by lantern light when we escape to the mountains to sleep because it is too danged hot in the house and we never thought about A/C because the neighbors would laugh us out of town- or more likely because no-one's wiring can support it. There are red necks and there are rednecks... renck does not necessarily mean ignorance to me... only in very special cases. Mmmm hickory nuts... I once made some homemade hickory nut and maple syrup ice cream. Divinity in a bowl, my friend. The squirrels may just be on to something.

[lee von cleef]

Thank s again for Cafe fun....

[Marie Anzalone]

you're welcome :-)
I sent a bunch of folks to your page a while back. Hope it worked out well for you.

[Jack...]

Hey, now this'en here sounds like me...no, not the uppity lass, the redneck a*s. But we all gotta be sompin...don't we? Very fun to read Marie.

[Marie Anzalone]

Hey no worries dear Jack, I myself am a most uppity rednecked a*s from the purest northeast PA coal-miner, coal cracker, rednecked stock. This work is laughing at my own origins as much as any other. As I said to Emily, it is about a special class of redneck, not rednecks in general. I am so much my mother's daughter at times...

[ríða andlit]

This one isn't the traditional, pick-up drivin', hooterin' and hollerin' redneck, either. This is the slow-witted, self-righteous redneck who couldn't tell the difference between solid writing and a steaming t**d.

[Jack...]

Phew, good...I drive a pick up truck and you will find me hootin' and hollerin' most of the time.

[Clockwork]

I laughed pretty hard when I read this, particularly toward the end when I read the refrain: "Your words give you up as a rednecked a*s," because I imagined the tone of voice you would say this in. I could see this piece provided a nice bit of comic relief at a reading around a bonfire.

Also, I liked the form you did this one in and the refrains you picked for this one.

And yes, there are those people who like to get under their skin. And its really awesome when we can reach the level of catharsis and comfort that we can joke about some of the things they have put us here. You hit your mark quite well here!

[Marie Anzalone]

Writers have a long and proud history of slamming enemies in verse and prose. I never considered before how useful the villanelle form can be for this. The rhyme pattern you like is the strictness of her lovely form coming out. Cathartic laughter is sometimes the best medicine one can get. Yes, bonfire reading, when things get too serious... bring this oen for me, will ya'? Since I will not be there for it this time around, I fear. Flat broke and worried where the next meal is coming from. Eating a lot of beans. Speaking of great comedic relief at the next bonfire... :-)

[Emily B]

please don't offend all the dear rednecks out there, i think such a person must be a special kind of a*s

[Marie Anzalone]

Very special kind of a*s indeed. In a class of one's own. Teaching it, perhaps.

My own family of full of rednecks. I'd say asses of all genres run about in usual proportion all around.