poem: Looking Back Upon Our Generation

 

A thing, set in motion, is incapable of standing still,

We come to where decisions must be made

The bow is drawn, the arrow now looses where we will.

 

Mockery of truthspeakers gives permission for a later kill:

We could find such great diversions as those plans are laid;

The bow is drawn, the arrow now looses where we will.

 

Or we make a stand, as taught by a prophet from His hill

We can choose ascension as the place for which we prayed-

A thing, set in motion, is incapable of standing still.

 

Shall we find we have delighted in the bloodlust of the thrill,

Turn after to see jagged spaces where our children played?

The bow is drawn, the arrow now looses where we will.

 

Or will we let dreamers sing our future through burning quill,

Invoke their wisdom as into complex rivers we must wade?

A thing, set in motion, is incapable of standing still.

 

This was never, for us, just one more mindless tv drill

At our close would we recall what left, honor what has stayed?

The bow is drawn, the arrow now looses where we will

A thing, set in motion, is incapable of standing still.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

villanelle... tough form. Constructive critique welcomed.

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

Hope I die before I get old. That is what was said. But we did.
To use a strict form to peruse your thoughts on the thoughts of dreamers is to be very much admired. If that is not straining the statement beyond breaking point. Perhaps it would be better to say I admire this piece very much and wish I could do the same.

[Marie Anzalone]

I think too many people get acclimated to dying a little every day. There coems a tipping point, I would say. So far in one direction, and the heretics and madmen become those who want to stand still. Too far in the other, and the dreamers are. I wonder how much time is really left for middle ground?

The restrictive form of the villanelle is tough, but it is to me one of the most most powerful forms of poetry. I always thought it could be used to make one heck of a wedding proposal. :-)

[Carlton Carr]

I don't feel qualified to give you constructive criticism on form - a lot of τђє time I simply trust my instincts. What I can tell you is that I found myself reading these lines aloud - and it sounded good! In τђє end that is τђє final test for me. Your repeated lines are haunting and I suspect that they will echo in my head all day. Thank you so much for this enjoyable reading experience Marie.

[Marie Anzalone]

You are welcome, Carlton. I am glad you found me here, and glad you enjoyed this. I have a big project for tomorrow to work through yet tonight, but I hope to get to some of your own writing very soon.

[s y e]

I've heard that Villanelle is a tough form. There is another write on her ~ Lori Carlson ~ who has done some in that form. You have written this excellently. I love the repetition, it really adds to the write. You've written a really effective write, Marie. Something I really enjoyed reading!

~ Noodle.

[Marie Anzalone]

The villanelle is and extremely tough form because the repetition and rhyme scheme are so restrictive. Saying what you need to, and maintaining a flow to your rhythm, is very challenging. I liek it for works that I want to have impact, because I find the repetition can be extremely powerful. This is probably my third or fourth. I did not know that Lori writes in this form- very few try. I will definitely have to ask her. Thank you for reading and enjoying!

[Marie Anzalone]

*an extremely tough form- typing in the dark here

[jacob erin-cilberto]

villanelle is tough...and you did the form nicely..this sounds smooth as silk..there is no hint of the effort put into getting the form just right.

the repetition of certain lines really work with this theme...back in the 60's something started---

and unfortunately after it accomplished some things, it stalled..and died out.

really relate to this write.

very well done.

jacob

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you, jacob. I agree... it is a very tough form to write, and I am glad my efforts do not feel forced to you. My mother and her younger siblings were products of the 60s, and were activists to their core. I was born in '75. My mother walked out on convention, and in many ways, it was tough on me. I am now very glad I am her daughter.

[Marie Anzalone]

I also agree that repetition of the lines in the villanelle form increases their power ten-fold. IWhen I read one, I feel like a porclamation of intent is being set somewhere.

[Emily B]

i think it is beautiful, complex and honest

[Marie Anzalone]

talks with you, Advocate, Clockwork, Ken, Panda, Diego and Princeps inspired it- thank you

[Emily B]

I had to come back to these words today. They seem appropriate to my day. I am expectant and waiting. Trying to learn to be a little patient.

[Marie Anzalone]

We put something in motion... but it takes a while to see results. More than patience, I think discouragement is the hardest challenge, no?

[Emily B]

it really is, but I've been thinking if we travel so often together, if we share our strengths and challenges we can triumph together

[Marie Anzalone]

there is strength in numbers... but sometimes just having one other person who believes you and believes in you can do so much

[Emily B]

i agree with my whole heart