poem: failed homeostasis

under enough stress, or in face of prolonged adverse conditions, many animals enter a state of reduced activity in order to preserve vital functions

 

 

my breastbone is split in two, today-

       the angels watching over my heart

     thoroughly excised it instead,

           for safe-keeping, sawing

    through bone and anesthetizing

       all connections;

        vital processes deactivate

     for the spirit's protection.

 

you are right- i have no control

   over you, this space

  is yours to use and destroy

     as your fancies determine. i am

    invisible, voiceless;

   disempowered to prevent

     decaying slump into uselessness-

 

rust and rot, a relinquishing-

   half a decade of carefully selected

     investments, lovingly tended, vanished

    overnight. It is, as you say,

      no longer mine to notice,

 or mother. and last night, that last piece;

 

the one still determined

    to wake you up, to make you care

  to shine love into worn places-

      went dormant. it curled into a ball

exactly as I have lain so long

    under your victorious glare

   each time I surrender another

        earthly concern

 

you ask what went wrong,

  why the thing you love most, fled-

   you demand a why of your gods;

  fists pounded on doorframes, upended

    tables, broken chairs: why did i do

   this TO YOU? you rage; and the

        answer is so simple you missed

   its truth.

 

what failed is nothing

   so complicated as designs to wear

  down dreams and replace them

      with others, but simply that there was

     no way for the organism to thrive

          when it loses all control over

its home environment. homeostasis

        cannot be achieved.  

 

  

 

 

Reviews

[TLK]

I can tell you're a biologist. An excellent use of academic precision to dissect the messy world of human emotional responses.

I would call this the screech of an indignant meteor -- except slowed down, organised, made intelligible. But no less powerful.

The penultimate stanza shifts from the earlier introduction to and excavation of the main problem, and keeps an unrelenting gaze on the victim/perpetrator (always a compelling subject of writing). The way the lines toss up the evidence of the emotion with the narrator's calm response is done so easily that it would be too easy to ignore its genius.

The last stanza extends this response so far that it seems to leave nothing left to say. It is an extremely fitting end to the whole.

[jkhatz]

I simply love how all of Marie's personalities are reviewing this poem she wrote, including, but not limited to, jkhatz, the infamous Dog Faced Girl.

[Marie Anzalone]

LOL, jk. Has anyone told you lately that you are a beautiful woman? TLK: your words here are an appreciated balm on some rough days. Many people, who know nothing about science or scientists, scoff and claim that knowing about the world destroys its magic. I find it opens new universes and endless possibilities, and I find it helps me focus my rage or pain when nothing else can. If the rules we set for ourselves as individuals or as a society defy the rules of basic physics or biology, physics and biology are going to win. Every time. My trick is to try dissolving into the larger picture. I am usually wildly inaccurate, mind you. But sometimes... it fits. I disappear entirely sometimes, and it scares me when i get even close to getting it right. I honestly do not know what I would ever do with that power if I were to get it right.

Hopefully something more meaningful than all of the harassment I have been accused of, lately.

Thanks for reaching out... sincerely.

[Marri]

deeply emotional, disturbing (for being so true), painful at times and witty at others, I find it to be a peak of poetry whose layers take a heart ready to bleed and rolled up sleeves, readiness to climb to its core. Beautifully written life-soaked, intelligent poetry

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you, Marri, for this gorgeous review. I have been told I tend to be a very visceral writer; I really do not see the point in writing if the words have no chance of impacting the reader in some way. I also think it serves no purpose to skate over or ignore the tough places in life. If you cannot meet your own life head-on, what business do you have trying to meet another in his or hers?

I greatly appreciate your reviews today, Marri. Will eb abck to reviewing soon; I am up against a major work deadline right now and do not have the focus to give it at the moment.

[Marri]

ah, the wisdom in the first paragraph! Poetry for me should be like this, beautiful for its rhythm and painful for its truth! I cherish meeting such inspiration here and your works are right there, up the peak... About reviewing, don't worry, I appreciate attention given to my endeavours independent on abstractions such as space and time. I also exist here like a ghost, mostly because I bleed in my try at survival, study, work, study, work, work, work, work...Yet, without ghosts houses are awfully boring. Will be very happy to read your stuff whenever I manage to save some of my flesh for the things I really love. Good luck with your work :)

[ChemicalMadness]

Designs to wear down dreams and replace them with others...as if we need help with that. We, it could be argued, do just fine smoothing out the edges of our square dreams and then questioning why we keep running around in circles. It's insidious behavior when it is calculated and exacting - stealing life so that one can feel better or have what they think is the perfect life. I made you into the perfect us? The math doesn't add up. But is that not what makes true acceptance so beautiful? The strength and proclivity to let one assume ones natural state....and truly loving and celebrating that soul in stasis....this is why we seek and fail and seek again....
Thank you for this piece.
CM.

[Marie Anzalone]

That comment about smoothing square dreams and running in circles is remarkably profound, and useful. I shall carry that nugget with me. What most people do not recognize is that love is a surrender. It must be. A surrender of the will. What happens when two strong-willed people cannot/ will not surrender to the other's dream when they come together? True love eludes on the edges of that track, I think. We circle it like airplane pilots wating for the all-clear to land but never touch wheels to its ground. And that is a shame, because surrender is strength. We find 1001 excuses to make the other person deserve our care; and withold it until it is too late. As Yeats once said, "things fall apart if the center cannot hold."

[Cool Handless Luke]

Very nice. I think I wrote something along these lines only using autotomy. You captured the essence of an uncontrollable emotional response - in a brilliant scientific metaphor. The heart wants what the heart wants.

[Marie Anzalone]

Yes, I could see where autonomy could be used interchangeably here, for a very similar effect. This one is far more literal than some of my writing. I am literally describing a deterioration of a home environment, not of a metaphorical one. I am too much my mother's daughter sometimes. I do not thrive in complete chaos. Controlled chaos is the norm, but there is a line.

Thank you for all the reviews this morning, my friend. Hearign form you makes me glad I did not leave the site 2 weeks ago like I was going to.

[Pól]

Good work S; lots of personality

[Marie Anzalone]

S? What does "S" refer to?

Thanks for the reviw, Paulo. I have to wonder about whether or not it is a good thing if my personality comes through in a piece, or not. Every time I hear a reference to presonality, I remember a Bill Cosby routine about drugs from my childhood. He says,
"so I ask a friend of mine,'man, why do you do drugs?'
and he says, 'well, because it intensifies my personality.'
and I ask him, 'yeah, but what if you're an a*****e?'"

A now deceased friend and I had a similar theory about the word, "interesting." We entertained ourselves for an entire afternoon once coming up with questions for which the response "interesting" almost always has a negative connotation. [how was that blind date?]

Ah, Dan. He died 4 years ago today, age 51. Good memories. Thanks for the chain of thoughts that led me to him. I miss him terribly.

[Marie Anzalone]

wow please excuse the double "not" in the first line. I am so tired I am hallucinating

[gombeggar]

each time u have a certain way of structuring yer poems, the lines in them and even the punctuaton that i find remarkable...your visuals here are very good too

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

in dreams, I can dodge blows while in a state of homeostasis..I guess I can move my eyes without moving them
homeostasis is an illusion in reality, I think
you have to surrender to this and fight for that spirit of yours
fight like it's the only one you've got
I could review the literary quality of your amazing voice
but I'm subterranean and I figured I 'd stop by on my way to the core of the matrix
wish me luck and I'll do the same

[Marie Anzalone]

Enjoy the journey to the heart of the beast, Heftlander. I hear that matrices are in full migration this time of year. Protective gear may thus be required. Thye get territorial of their breathing spaces, like I do.

And yes, surrender. Once the balnace goes out of life, what exists but righting again? What CAN exist? It's like spinning without a platform, the plates dancing in mid-air... and you trying to tell them all-along that was how they had to be. You miss miracles that way.

Be well tonight, my friend. Thanks for stopping by.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the scientific language here...i also feel that this was a terrific poem if it had only included the first stanza...but the rest really brings it home...sometimes there is just no waking another up...

excellent write...

jacob

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you, jacob, your words are always appreciated here. What you mention is indeed a tough realization, as I mentioned to another reviewer, soemtimes almost too painful to bear. It has been a tough few weeks. Recognition like yours is a blessing that makes them more bearable.

[KAOlmsted]

This is very good. I love the language and the sentiment; taking something so emotional and boiling it down to this clinical response is nothing short of brilliant. Thanks so much for sharing your work with us.

[Marie Anzalone]

Thanks, KAO. I don't know if it was meant to be clinical as much as detached observation? LOL I remember an ex berating me once for being too analytical. He fled for the hills with tail tucked, poor thing. Anyhows, I am off-subject, and I have hours more work to do tonight. Much appreciate you stopping by.

[KAOlmsted]

;-) My absolute pleasure.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

OK, I'm going to add my pathetic two cents. This is an excellent write, Marie. It doesn't matter which side of this equation one finds themselves; the truth is that things can become so out of balance, irregular, incomprehensibly illogical that no about of manipulation can set it right. But then what? Then what...

[Emily B]

nothing pathetic about your cents/sense

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

It's that sad cents-sense of recognition, isn't it? {sigh}

[Emily B]

there are days when the recognition is joyous too

there are days

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

I'm all for those! :)

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you very much, Ufo. You ask the most important question of all... what DOES one do with this kind of realization? Its coming is hard; its fallout, damn near unbearable. I talked to my mom, in PA, on the phone in the middle of the realization. I told her bitterly that I have never had a chance in life to be anything but a writer- and she agreed. The creative process is funny; it is claimed you need a disappointment with life so deep and hard it forces you to express yourself back to life. So what next, after one drowns? Why, the long swim back to daylight, I dare say. Hopefully with hand extended to help the other, too.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

A toast to all travail that sets things right.
Here's to another round of joyous daylight! read moreA toast to all travail that sets things right.
Here's to another round of joyous daylight!
Let the swimming begin.

[Marie Anzalone]

I will proudly raise a glass on high to that toast!
"Here's to another round of joyous daylight"

I may just make that a new mantra with which to start my day. Thank you for the gift.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

I'm honored. It's yours, Marie. May it serve you well dear lady. I/we will be thinking of you... wishing you well in all to come. ^_^