poem: Standing in Morning Sunlight

standing vigil for a dying pet

You are 15 years of memories

curled into 18 inches of plush oval space

in front of a heater;

sleekness and shine gone flat

pronounced ridges and

pained intake of breath

and way too hot under a palm

set gently upon your back,

or lifting your swollen tummy.

 

I weigh options as live snakes:

these spaces are where

the Creator meets us

but only ever halfway.

Time teaches us  to stand in place

for profound transition and loss-

hours or days enough to remember, I pray,

those times you caught an ermine,

challenged me to a duel of wits,

selected 3 ex boyfriends

ran one suitor off

and rejected my choice of mate for you,

preferring your own gender.

 

I opt for a minimally invasive course

and your eyes, for now, are still clear;

you still see too much of me.

I inject, administer, remove and clean:

fluids and functions,

fighting neuronal damage

and liquid aspiration, removing

urine stains, tangles

making the rough, smooth again

the dirty, clean again;

taking back every time

I raised my voice, wondering

do cats laugh at their best tricks

at the close of life?

 

Because, I must it hand to you,

loving, faithful, demanding teacher-

that time you pissed on my ex

should have told me so much.

I am sorry for all you tried to tell me

when I did not have time to listen.

I hope you can still give me

just a few more days with you-

to get used to the thought of you not

snaking around my feet

wanting to go out and stand

in the morning sunlight, glistening

like a spirit guide always was meant to.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I wrote this 6 months ago, when we thought we were watching him breathe his last breath. Antibiotics, fluids, and nutrient supplements brought him back to us. He slipped away yesterday, unnoticed amongst household trauma, to die peacefully. A belated spring had come- it was not for long, but he got to see warm sunlit days again.RIP, dear Porgy. Bess misses you terribly.

updated 5/13/13

Reviews

[Art Sun]

there is uniqueness to the thoughts within your poem Marie, the emotional ties are almost or even similar to a relationship with human traits, one can feel the sincerity with which you write and express your closeness, your love, and your compassion...it is surely your Soul expressing the depth of you...

nice thoughts...

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you, Art... always a pleasure when your kindly soul graces my page with your gentle and insightful words. I do try to capture the depths and often feel as though I fall short... it is encouraging to know others see them in my words. Much appreciated.

[Emily B]

oh, Rachel, I'm so sorry . . .

[Clockwork]

I know I probably only spent about 6 months with Porgy over the last three years, but I have to say that he was probably the first cat I ever loved. I recognize many details from this piece. Some from the stories you told me and others from what I saw with my own eyes. This piece is such a touching one, and I think it is a great testament to just how special he is.

In some ways, I think he was a guide, or at least a very benevolent spirit who loved you. It was a pleasure to meet him. I will miss the times he laid at the end of my bed or followed me into the woods on a walk. I send you light and love for this loss.

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you so much... I am overjoyed to tell you he made it through this. In 30 odd years, I have never seen a sicker animal recover who was not on intensive care. He iseak, his energy is reduced, and he cannot move as well, but he DID make it. He will be with us a while longer yet. Apparently, he is overtly obnoxious about demandign affection right now, and who can blame him?

[gombeggar]

well done as usual...sometimes your words just flow relentessly across the screen, frm your fingertips, like magic...making a visual magic

[Marie Anzalone]

thanks, gombeggar... appreciate your thoughts muchly

[gombeggar]

i muchly like the word 'muchly' ...now i need to fit that into my writing today..damn yer cleverness-ness, word-smith!!!

[Marie Anzalone]

:-) you're welcome

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Excellent read and well written is not exactly what I'd say,it's brilliant! Thank you for sharing!

[Marie Anzalone]

You're welcome, Brandon, and thank you for stopping by

[Dane Osborne]

A profound mind but also a profound heart that emitted this. I'm glad I stopped by and read this. This is really one of the best poems that i've read here in a good while. Our intentions of honor and love are always tested and often proven fallible. BUT that doesn't kill what they stand for and that is what keeps the soul maintained.

[Dane Osborne]

I understand that it's about a lost pet BTW but how you portray your perception of that made me think.

[Marie Anzalone]

You are so right... we seem to come face to face with the mortality we were born with in these situations. It is cruel to make a species aware of mortality and not give them an ability to comprehend it...

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is enough to make a strong man cry. I have owned several great cats and lost them. Mine were Toms (Sinbad and Smoke) who wanted to roam and it became their early demise in traffic. They were many years apart and I've owned other animals but some we grow attached to for their personality. A sad and tender write.

[Marie Anzalone]

I am glad this brought back good good as well as bad memories for you, my friend. Most of my critters have had amazing personalities, and it has been hard to say goodbye. It never gets easier, I think.

[Frieda P]

This is brilliantly poignant and sweet. I lost my poor Luna, and it brought tears to my eyes to read this. Nicely done.

[Marie Anzalone]

Sorry about your loss, Frieda. They are so important.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

this brings back many sad memories of many past furry friends' passing. thankfully the good memories far outnumber those few sad ones. you're a good caretaker. I hope for the best in your situation, whatever that best might be.

[Marie Anzalone]

thank you dear friend... the situation has stablized and we all had a moving experience... and my dear little will remain a while longer in this world, and hopefully even regain the ability to be a hunter again before eh breatehs his last, although I have my doubts. He took a strong hit with 3 days of fever at a brain damage inducing level.

[Ken Simm.]

I know all this Marie. I know about the loss so well. This is a fine, fine tribute.

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you for your presence, Ken.