The Fall

I'm falling  I can't stop myself

I'm falling  wheres to go?

I'm left to plunge unto the earth

Where nothing is to go.

Dare I try to stop myself?

At best I won't succeed.

The winds shall wrap around myself 

And take me to my knees.

The memories flow throughout my head

As  blood begins to rush.

The cards of life dealt to my hand

behold a royal flush.

Even the finest must eventually fold

For there will come a new.

A new seed to plant to nourish and grow

Just like I once grew.

"What see you?" may you ask

When I descend throughout the sky.

A single memory that encapsulates 

My life that has passed by.

I'm falling I can't stop myself

With seconds left to brace

I'm falling and I've reached the end

Now I'm left to wake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

What do you think? Analyze, interpret, and critique and overall thoughts.

Reviews

[Dennis Shanaberg]

Fantastic imagery. I love how the fast changing images kind of morph with the fast pace of the poem. Great piece.

[Andrew'sWonderland]

Great flow, rhyme, and words!! What more do you need in poetry?!?! Great Write!!

[Idyllwyld]

As everyone else has stated, the "Royal Flush" stanza is definitely the most catching, and it is with good reason. However, while it appears that some others see the "Royal Flush" as life's hand against you, I instead perceive it as your trump over all Else.

This may be a fall, but despite the direction I dare to say it's a rise to power. The other lines imply a new beginning, perhaps an inevitable one, but one nonetheless. The Royal Flush is a powerful combination, and when great force is exerted great force is released. The final line, the "waking," implies an awakening, mayhap from a dream. Perhaps it's more so. Not just a mere rousing from sleep, but also a waking--and entering--into something new, something More, something Powerful. A shedding of that which Was, which was weaker, more doubtful, and an entering into that which is better and stronger.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Ah! That was simply beautiful
The flow was exceptional!
Great work :)

[Bennett Logan]

I really do like the dreamy, ethereal, sing-songy quality of this poem, but it left me wanting to know more about the actual dream... What did you see, hear, feel, smell, etc... If you're interested in revising or rewriting, I'd suggest writing the poem again without the rhyme scheme -- rely less on rhyme and let your descriptions take your reader into your dream.

Otherwise, this an interesting poem! You capture falling in a dream state very well. Keep up the good work!

[Ellen Hammond]

An intriguing write! It flows well yet captures that sensation of falling. I like your use of metaphors and rhyme. Each time I read it, I feel something different though it reminds me of the nightmares of falling I used to have.

[indieRokker]

"The cards of life dealt to my hand
behold a royal flush.
Even the finest must eventually fold
For there will come a new."

~I Liked this stanza, it was beautiful! The way with life is hard, it's just like playing a game of poker in which you've depicted. It's a hard game and some are lucky, nice usage in words.~

chers'
indie♥

[Ella Emergency]

I like it. It feels like a dream, because at the end you said there's nothing to do but wake. As in wake up?

"The cards of life dealt to my hand
behold a royal flush.
Even the finest must eventually fold
For there will come a new.
A new seed to plant to nourish and grow
Just like I once grew."

This was definitely an excellent excerpt. I like the thought of your cards as a royal flush, like maybe falling isn't as bad as it seems. What is the royal flush? To me, it would be a never-ending summer, but I'd like to know what your royal flush is. And I like that you acknowledged that everyone has to fold sometime ("you got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away...")

The rhythm was impeccable. I love the way it flowed through my head as I was reading. I think with expansion and a more driven point this could be an absolutely astounding song.

Overall - Five thumbs up... if i had five thumbs...

[hannah]

An interesting read.

The first part of this poem is a bit shaky but the rest is good. The rhyme scheme you've used in this poem is impressive. It's generously detailed so that the reader is able to see what you were thinking while you were composing this.

This poem is meaningful and could be applied to plenty of different situations. It could also be interpreted in many ways. From what I understood from your poem, its like falling and there's nothing you could do to stop it. It's basically how life is and how there are things in our life that happen that we sometimes don't want to happen, but, we can't do anything about them.

Always will be looking forward to reading more of your work,
Hannah

[JC]

This reminds me of a Paramour song..... which was about falling love against your will.

Wow this could be interpretted on several levels. The obvious to me is a dream, but upon a second reading I think perhaps death, the one thing we can not control.

Interesting read and very enjoyable.

Thanks for the invite,

JC