Ultra light beam

My version of spirituality is listening to ultralight beam on my am commute when Lord knows I should be praying. Anything to feel closers without moving forward. So I stand still. With hopes that my intent will lead to conviction or that my judgement will be placed on hold at least for this moment. My version of spirituality is why my soul vibrates to the chords and echos on the instrumentation yet my body is no instrument for His words. Hypocrisy! Is this a God dream? My version of spirituality allows me to feel truths intensely while maintaining my living lie. A running record of every bible verse I have yet to read is still imprinted on the deepest level of my skin, covered by my own delusion. Soul and mind conflicted, this poem is only a symptom of A common supernatural dilemma. Who am I in the eyes of eternity? Nothing but a beam of light moving through infinite space. Never diminishing. God's irony, there is no death like light passing.