1

I don’t know why you left. All I know is that you’re gone. Away from me.

 Why did you do it? I thought everything was going perfectly. I guess we had a different way of interpreting things.

            Your friends know why you left, but they’re too selfish to share. Anytime I start to ask why, they tell me it’s none of my business. The funny thing is that it is my business.

            You hurt me. Ripped my heart out and tore it apart. You made me believe that we had something special. I actually started to think that you might be the ‘One’.

            I should’ve known better.

            I should’ve listened to everybody that was against us. They obviously knew more than I did. I know I should be mad at you. I should rip up every picture we have, thrown out every gift you’ve ever given me, but I can’t do it.

            I don’t want to do that. I want to hold on to you for as long as I can. I need to. If I get rid of all the memories, then that means you really are gone for good. Holding on to them makes me feel like there might still be a chance for us.

            I had found out that you were gone when I stopped by your house this morning. You weren’t home; no one was. The neighbor had been outside, and she told me that you left. I had thought she was delusional. I was wrong, she was right.

            I’m so confused.

            Last night everything seemed fine. You did seem a little off in your own world, but when I asked, you told me you were just tired. So then you left, saying you needed to catch up on sleep. You usually stayed the night.

            Maybe you really were tired. Not exhausted tired, just tired of me, of our relationship.

            It just doesn’t make any sense.

            If you were so tired of me, how could you tell me all the things you did? On our first date you told me that I was the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever laid eyes on. Was that a lie? Were you just trying to get into my pants? See how fast you could corrupt the innocence girl?

            Before you, I had never let any man kiss me like you did. Never let them caress my cheek as you leaned in and brushed your lips across mine, in an almost kiss. Never let them kiss trails up my neck to my lips.

            You were the first person I let know every part of me. I’ve never shared so much with one person before you waltzed into my life. You saw when I was happiest (mostly because I was happiest when I was with you), you were there to wipe my tears when my grandparents died. We became so close, that every time I was having confidence issues, or an anxiety attack, you could tell. It became second nature for you.

            I thought I knew you like nobody else. Maybe I did, but now that you left, it’s easy to see that I obviously didn’t know everything. I knew about your abusive father, your loving mother, the accident with your brother when you were three. You told me everything. So it seemed.

            You hated reading with a passion. I’d always tell you to read a book whenever you’d say you were bored and then get one of those looks. You know the look you give when you’re trying to say ‘you’ve got to be kidding me,’ that look.

            You had a strange obsession with Pink Floyd. I remember the first time you told me about him. I went home and looked him up on YouTube, because I wanted to know about things you enjoy. He wasn’t that bad. He wasn’t someone that I’d want the CD for, but knowing who he was and some of his music had made you happy. And when you were happy, I was happy too.

            You were the biggest pig ever! For lunch you would always have doubles of everything! It amazed me at how much you could eat and yet still manage to be fit. You did run often though, so that’s probably why.

            I’m such a lazy person, and you’re so active. I am so clumsy. Every time I’d trip, we’d both laugh. Sometimes I’d trip over nothing or stupid things, and you’d end up on the floor with me because you were laughing so hard. I laughed too, but I only laughed harder because your laugh made me laugh. I loved your laugh. I loved the way you clutched your stomach and scrunched your eyes up, and how wide of a smile you’d have on your face.

            You were beautiful. You are beautiful. I remember the first time I saw you, all that came to my mind was, ‘He is so gorgeous!’’ Something like that has never happened before. Not to me anyway. You were like a bucket of cold water. I saw your face on the first day, and was hooked. I wanted to know who you were.

            I always wonder what would have happened if I had just greeted you that first day, rather than waiting months.

            As long as it took for us to happen, I don’t think I’d change it. The secret glances, the non-subtle staring, the ‘accidently’ bumping into you, it all lead up to that one day. I was late leaving a class, and it was the class you had right after me. I was trying to rush out of the room to make it to next period before the bell rang. I was not watching where I was going, and the clumsy in me came out, and I ran right into you.

            I honestly don’t regret it.

            You were walking in and you had all of your books. When I smacked into you, all of our stuff flew everywhere! I don’t think my face has ever been that red. I remember I kept apologizing, and you told me to calm down. I looked at you and started laughing at myself. I apologized for apologizing, and then you started laughing. You introduced yourself and that was the start of our story.

            I would do it all over again if I could. At least then you’d be here, not wherever it is you are.

 

            It’s around ten-o-clock now. I haven’t left the house since I got back this morning. I've basically been in my room all day crying. You really hurt me and I bet you don’t even know. You’re probably out partying right now. With a bunch of people who won’t understand you like I do.

            I’d say you were probably hitting on a bunch of girls, but you’re not that kind of guy. Even now, after how bad you've hurt me, I know you wouldn't go that low.

            I hope you feel guilty. I really do. I hope you have to drink yourself to oblivion to forget about me. Even then, I hope that’s not enough to forget my face. I hope you’ll realize that I was the best thing you've ever had and you’ll never be able to replace me.

            I hope all our memories haunt you. I hope that when you think of this town, I’m the first thing that comes to your head.

            I don’t want you to be happy because I’m unhappy. Right now, I hope you’re miserable.

            Was this all a game to you? Was it really just to see how fast you could make me fall for you. If that’s the case, you had won a long time ago. You had me the very first day I saw you.  The longer we were together, the harder I fell. If this was your plan all along, then I wish you would've found someone else. I wish you would've just had your fun in the beginning and then broke it off.

Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so badly. 

Reviews

[Aly]

I loved this. So relateable. I could...I felt like I read something I wrote in my journal. wonferful. Great job.

[Elizabeth Carter]

Wonderful overall. I felt like the sentence about being a bucket of cold water was a little random, but could be easily encorporated if explained well. I absolutely live that you put so many of the emotions a girl feels after a difficult breakup or end to a relationship. There is confusion, innocence, love, anger, pain, compassion, revenge, and many others! You did an excellent job at really capturing the readers attention and interest in the first chapter, which is always one of the most key elements of a story, as the first chapter is the first thing you read and the thing that should really pull you in and make you want to read the story and find out what happens next! I'm very interested in this, and can't wait for more chapters should you choose to write them(which I'm hoping you do!) Great great job!! :)

[Elizabeth Carter]

absolutely love*

[Mir]

Thank you! :)
I will look into the 'bucket of cold water'. I can see how that could seem random!
I'm really glad you liked it! And I'm definitely going to be adding more chapters. I can send you read requests when theyre up if you'd like. :)

[Elizabeth Carter]

Yay!! Yeah, that would be wonderful!! Please do:) thanks!