Our Melody

Our Melody

A Poem by Mir
"

I honestly don't even know where these kind of poems are coming from!

"

Take my hand.

Close your eyes.

Breathe me in.

Just free your mind.

 

It’s only us.

Time does not exist.

There’s no need to rush.

Just enjoy this bliss.

 

Trace my lips,

As you hear me speak.

Can you hear the thumping,

Of my racing heartbeat?

 

Let your hand,

Graze my cheek.

As I listen intently,

To the words you speak.

 

Do you feel the air,

Brush by your skin?

Do I stir up something

Deep within?

 

Relax your muscles.

You’re safe with me.

Forget the world.

As we make our own melody. 

 

© 2012 Mir


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Reviews

Nicely done! It had great flow, and it was so sweet. I felt like I was actually there, though you never said who the other was, which left me room to fill in a few blanks. Which is always nice as long as you never leave too many blanks for the reader to fill. It all went together really, well. Good job!

Posted 11 Years Ago


David the writer

11 Years Ago

Thank you, for the advise. It's always a great reminder. And forgive my ego, and pride, but I beleiv.. read more
Mir

11 Years Ago

Your ego is 'forgiven'. I wasn't aware of that! But I still stick with the everyone has their week s.. read more
David the writer

11 Years Ago

Oh yeah, I agree :)
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Aly
I love how you write!
I can actually see all of this happening and I love the pace of this.
You know just to what write and all the words go so perfectly together.
This is a master-piece! I love this!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Mir

11 Years Ago

Aw thank you so so much! I'm glad you had a visual with the writing! Far from a master piece, but th.. read more
Aly

11 Years Ago

I feel it is! If I can picture it and really get into it. Master piece honey! :D
KEEP writing.. read more
I thought the rhythm of this poem was very one of a kind because you don't try to say a lot - you seem to use aphorism to express perfectly the idea of a happy, comfortable relationship. It's very sweet.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Mir

11 Years Ago

Thankyou!!:)
Persona

11 Years Ago

You're very welcome Miranda
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oxo
i enjoyed reading this. :) nice write:)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Mir

11 Years Ago

Thank you! :)
Beautiful! It's so simple and lyrical and beautiful! Oh, wait, I already said that. Well who cares!!
BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL! :D

Posted 11 Years Ago


Becca Bishop

11 Years Ago

If I had a ruler that wasn't made out of really soft plastic, and if I knew where you lived and was .. read more
Mir

11 Years Ago

HAHA! You sound like my best friend! :D And thanks again! And pizza ISSSS goood! haha
Tarry Franck

11 Years Ago

Thank you LOL
Great images, the visuals kept me going. Nice write, I really enjoyed it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Mir

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much!:]
I was afraid when I first started reading this the rhythm was going to be to fast. I was amazed that it just works. I thought it was very descriptive and I enjoyed it very much thanks for sharing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Mir

11 Years Ago

Thank you soo much! :)
This is so passionate - very well done

Posted 11 Years Ago


Mir

11 Years Ago

Thank you!!
This was amazing!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Mir

11 Years Ago

You are the first person to ever say that! It may be sad, but you just made my week! haha:D
StayAnchored

11 Years Ago

I am super glad!! I love making people's days brighter! :D
Mir

11 Years Ago

You succeeded! lol
Miranda, this is beautiful. I think it's my favorite of your poetry yet! You never disappoint me, mind you, but this time your blew me away!

:)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Mir

11 Years Ago

Oh wow! Thank you so much Devon! That really means a lot! :)
devon

11 Years Ago

You're welcome!

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Stats

1244 Views
30 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 7 Libraries
Added on November 23, 2012
Last Updated on November 24, 2012
Tags: time, bliss, love, heart, heartbeat, melody

Author

Mir
Mir

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About
Hello! I'd like to put a little note here thanking each and every one of you that has ever viewed my work! It honestly means so much and the comments you guys have left are amazing. So thank you tha.. more..

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