Different Woman

With the twist of his wrist and the stroke of a pen I walked away from the table a different woman than I was only seconds before. All the moments in time that led to this were held together with tape and string; and solidarity gone, alone I skipped down the yellow brick road and found the doors to my Oz.

 As I exited the world I had known for that while, I found both tears and joy. With no need to discount, I smile and say that the past is exactly that. The years of if only came together and fell apart all at once. With both rants and raves the days went by and added up to this.

 I take a deep breath and remember the passion between my fellow traveler and me. The height of affection I was able to give leaves me with only the knowledge that I’m capable of such grand things. I thrived in unquestionable capabilities that the love provided when all was well.

The recollection of pain, that came with each blow our sour words had thrown each other’s way, is present, too. The depth of the sorrow that was embedded in those times could only hold me for so long. I survived the deep crevices that were dug when we waged war against one another, each time climbing my way back to daylight with my strength renewed, a little stronger than the time before.

 There was a comfort in the times when only our best shined through and the feeling of togetherness was enough to steady us, if only for a minute. But fear became familiar and we lost our solid ground; the security of what we had waivered with each passing of the blame onto the other’s shoulders, unable to see eye to eye.

Sometimes damage done lingers too long and amendments are no longer an option. I had grieved the loss long before it came, knowing the day would come when we closed this door, leaving the sadness behind. Hope tags along as I walk this new path, experiences in hand. Anticipation lies close to my skin, no longer buried by the heavy weight of what was before. The face that I show and the smile I wear is different than when it all begun. The lessons I’ve learned are now planted deep within, they grow and prosper bringing a better me to the world of today.

So I walk away grateful of all that we’ve been and take with me only the best of the memories, the ones that brought light and love. With each thought of that time that comes to mind I only feel the joy, for now I know what I’m capable of, and it was a lesson well learned. The love, the loss, the high, and the low are what I’m made of now. The ebb and the flow of what will be come easier this time around. All that has changed and what still remains are remnants of my life before. I breathe differently now, a little softer at times and my smile isn’t the same, it shines just a little bit brighter than the time before. What has been done and what I’ve become are pieced together to make a stronger me, and I’ll never be the same. Wherever I go, the footsteps of what once was will remain, though they’ll be far behind. New ones now take me further along as I walk down this path of mine. Today I know that all is well, and that is how it should be.