Obscene Me

A Story by Jennifer Hart

I must have missed the lesson on prudence. So here enlies his problem with me.

I was having a talk with a couple of people I know about the fact that some find me both inappropriate and obscene. They say I am overly flirtatious and sexually open in a way that does not please them in the least. Now, I cannot deny some of their accusations. I am one of the most verbally bulimic women I know. Even my friends, who are quite open, seem to blush at the sound of my words as I purge them into our conversations. They are also the ones who listen, with intent ears, to the stories I tell and then ask me how to achieve the ending that I have come to find. I have tried, many times, to tone down my thoughts and expressions to something that would be more digestible to the masses. I have thoroughly failed.

I offer that most people are too shy or too prude to say what they are really thinking. I think we have all heard the statistics on the amount of time men spend just thinking about sex. As a society we find it not only acceptable but somewhat humorous, as well. But if I, a female, think about it even half as much as my male counterpart, then something is surely wrong with me. Really? Let me just disclose my age so that I may connect one of the facts that I’m sure we are all familiar with. I am 35, and, with that said, I remember hearing in my earlier years that it is in their 30s that women become, well, as sexually interested as the boys were in their teenage years. Maybe this fact, my age included, is part of why I have no inhibitions to speak my mind. I have never been accused of being reserved or bashful.

Let’s take the word vibrator into account and use it as an example. Yes, I know, I've already written about these little wonders, once. Just indulge me here. To speak of this little mechanical item that is used for self-pleasure is treated as taboo. To acknowledge its use is simply crude and uncouth. Yet, you can find these tools of satisfaction in the middle of any mall, in any town, throughout America. So really, if I can pass through Sears and purchase a washer, only to then follow up with a stop by the novelty store, whereas I can indulge in a little bit of sensual shopping, why is there such astonishment from the killjoys after I’ve included something of this nature in a writing or conversation? Suck it up people; you’ll enjoy your orgasm so much more.

Now, I have had many insightful talks with people who are admittingly much more curious than their conscious will allow them to confess. Something has been instilled in them, along the way, that says it is not okay to say what they really feel, or to ask the questions they really long to have answered. They simply cannot handle the thought of people looking at them with a condemnatory and disapproving eye. I myself think that people of these colors are particularly ugly. These same citizens of this restrained society are sure to be the ones that are online, late at night, getting their kicks by pretending to live the life that people like myself really do. It is these poor souls that lack the connection between themselves and their significant other that causes broken marriages and miserable discontent in their daily lives.

I do not pretend to be the only one with the ideas that I have. I just have the moxie to do something with them. I feel my penis grow each time I audaciously spit these notions out for the public to swallow. So I say, to the condemning minds of my fellow humans, please sit back and enjoy what you hear, for we do not look down upon you for your lack of enthusiasm towards the carnal world. We shall be happy to continue on living this exciting existance. It is hard, but, someone has to do it.