Please don't be so lame

I have this friend. No really, it’s a friend and it’s a she. But, yes, it’s that kind of story. This particular friend of mine has a friend of her own. Now the two of these people exchange correspondence quite often. As a matter of fact, the past couple of weeks have proven to bring about a bit more risqué conversations. I can’t speak for the other party, but I can disclose that my girlfriend has enjoyed the playful talks and texts.

Now, if I understand correctly, in no way does my friend have any expectations on the present status of what they are partaking in. The day to day enjoyment seems to be enough to fulfill whatever it is that she is looking for. The connection with her friend has played out to show a somewhat sexual overtone, but this has not taken on any physical being, thus far. There are no plans being made about the future, and at this point, both people seem to be okay with where it is at. This brings me to the important part of this story.

This is not the first time I have heard of, or experienced for myself, as a matter of fact, the silly and somewhat lame excuses boys seem to throw upon the girls they are involved with. I’m not quite sure if the male species either doesn’t think at all, or if they truly believe that the female masses are as naive and gullible as they pretend we are.

 Case in point; my friend shoots to her co-conspirator a simple sentence in the form of ‘is all well today?’ Now, there could surely be many different reasons that the man doesn’t reply, and any of those are valid. Neither he, nor she, owes anything to the other and because nothing is truly expected, no response at all from the other does not lead to hard feelings or a hurt ego. Sure, a response would be nice, what woman doesn’t like to be acknowledged by a man she has a crush on? But still, the lack of reply is only that. Nothing more, nothing less. Now after a few hours the chime of her phone lets her know that someone is calling, or in this case, texting. With a swish of her finger the note is opened and she finds the familiar name of her flirtatious friend at the top of the page. Underneath she reads ‘in the middle of something, phone was dead’ and in that instant she is not let down, but is actually a little disappointed at the fact that he came up with that at all. Seriously? A reply, hours later, all while busy with something else? Now truly, what he is doing is really none of her business but the idea that he chose this correspondence at a time she was surely not to answer, seems a bit, well, lacking in what we like to call ‘game’. This means, the ability to say things in a smooth manner. Sometimes I am left to wonder if these men see the invisisble word ‘stupid’ written across our forehead.

Now, this is not a bashing of the male intellect but meant to be a useful tool for those boys-to-men figures with a smidgen of intelligence. Most of us are big girls. We neither need, nor want, an excuse that has so much cheese on it that our fingers are stained orange. The lack of response we receive from you will do one of two things, and it is in these two things that you will know what kind of woman you are dealing with. One, to the women of a bit more mature status,  no response at all will keep us on the line, wondering if you might possibly be thinking of us and keep our hopes alive that you may write or call. This is exciting. Everyone likes a good cat and mouse chase every now and then. We will do the same to you and trust me, you will enjoy it, also. If you come upon a woman who responds differently, that is to say, she acts as if you are something she owns and that you are to reply to her immediately when she puts forth an attempt at communication, run. Run fast, run far. It will probably not turn out well.  Two, a lazy response at an inopportune time bares the resemblance of a blow off, and that will quickly make the woman who once looked at you, in a yummy kind of way, gain a look upon her face that says ‘you’ve got to be kidding’ and put a somewhat sour taste in her mouth. The fact that you even thought you could get away with such a thing is, in itself, well, ridiculous.

So, in conclusion I would like to say to all the young and old, please do not underestimate the common sense of a female. A real woman will accept your non-response as a challenge and play accordingly. But to use the line of a high school boy so shows a lack of respect and understanding at just what it is you have in front of you. Give us, and yourselves, some credit and keep things real. Please don’t be so lame.