Don't Try To Fix Us

A Story by Jennifer Hart

Just a word to the wise for men who just don't get it. This is an informative post that will help slide by issues with the least amount of damage to either you and/or your woman. Enjoy!

I often wonder where the idea came from that women are objects that need to be fixed. I’ve spent thirty-five years on this earth so far, and I have yet to find a motor under my hood or brakes on my feet, so I don’t think I am in need of a mechanic. I’m not a machine that is supposed to run a particular way. I’m not always as sweet as cotton candy, but I’m not always a sour patch kid either. I’m usually easy going, I can laugh and love a lot. But there are times when I’m just not quite right. And in those times I don’t want someone trying to fix all my problems. I don’t need to be taken care of or figured out. If I wake up on the wrong side of the bed all I want to do is roll over to the right one.

Don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean that I, or we, if I am speaking for any other women out there, want you men to be rude, hard, or distant. It simply means we want you to go on about your day in the normal everyday fashion that you are used to. You don’t need to put any special effort into making us feel ‘okay’ or righting any wrongs. As a matter of fact, it is when we are experiencing these off days that we are much less likely to want any acknowledgement ,on your part, of a wrong doing you may have done in the past. This is not the time to make any kind of amends. I can almost guarantee that you will not receive a warm welcome to your new confession. You may, however, be the receiver of some warm words as we spit fire out of our mouths, asking you about your own stupidity in that particular moment. Just walk away.

Now, for what you can do in times like these. You can avoid taking note of our mood and feeling the need to point it out to us. We already know that we won’t be voted Miss Congeniality this day; we don’t need you to be the conveyor of such messages. And I am going to pretend, just for this moment, that common sense is lacking and add that under no circumstances should you ever ask if we are experiencing p.m.s. Ever. Plain. Simple. Period. The day will not end well for you.

You can also feel free to indulge us, just a small bit, if we ask for assistance. Don’t overdo it. This shouldn’t be something dramatic. If we point out our own bad attitude, there is no need to deny that you have noticed. We may shoot daggers out of our eyes that you will surely catch. You can simply say something to the effect of letting us know that you’re okay with our lack of excitement, that you are a big boy and you are well equipped to handle the situation. We like to know that you are big, strong men who will not run from a little bit of attitude. You don’t have to wear shining armor, but you can pretend you have a horse outside just in case we want to go for a ride. We may ask you to say something nice, and that will truly be all we want. Don’t answer with a question. An easy compliment or positive comment will be sufficient. We aren’t looking for a hand written poem professing your love. We aren’t looking for promises you give on a whim. We simply want something that might make us smile or even make us laugh. Even though we aren’t the brightest ball of sunshine at the moment, knowing you will let us be right where we are is usually enough to make these off times few and far between. But whatever you do, don't try to fix us.