Murder

Murder: What does it make you think about?

Last night a murder took place, occurring in my mind.

Last night a crime scene was declared, set in my heart.

Murder of my hopes, scene of crushed dreams. 

Hardened feelings, destroyed by a familiar beam.

A beam of relationships, a beam I once trusted.

A beam that now I fear may never stand again.

The crime scene was full of evidence showing selfish act.

Burnt emotions and feelings lay scattered across the ground.

With enough evidence to prove myself right.

All I needed was a jury, one with humanity and balance.

One which considered emotions over relationships.

One which considered feeling over money.

One which could get me justice. 

Last night a murder took place, occurring in my mind.

Last night a crime scene was declared, set in my heart.

Murder of my hopes, scene of crushed dreams. 

Hardened feelings, destroyed by a familiar beam.

A beam of relationships, a beam I once trusted.

A beam that now I fear may never stand again.

The marks caused by his weapon go deep with in me.

The weapons he used lie crushed under a burden.

He shards of my heart to sharp to touch.

My shattered confidence to little to hold.

My entire life reduced to a cracked mirror.

One in which even I fear to look.

I have all the weapons in my grasp.

All I need is a shoulder.

One which can share this weight that putting me down.

One on which I can cry my heart of.

But can I trust again.

Last night a murder took place, occurring in my mind.

Last night a crime scene was declared, set in my heart.

Murder of my hopes, scene of crushed dreams. 

Hardened feelings, destroyed by a familiar beam.

A beam of relationships, a beam I once trusted.

A beam that now I fear may never stand again.

I have proof, I have evidence.

Who will hear the echo of my troubles.

Who will give me justice.

I know his face, I know his status.

A masquerade, skilled in a gamble.

A gamble of emotions, the gamble of life.

A friend who will leave you in darkest times.

He said I will care for you like a brother.

But ran of, saying why bother.

I was in trouble, living on the streets.

All I needed was a place to stay, a shoulder to cry on, and a helping hand.

They all help themselves leaving me alone, saying why bother.

Last night a murder took place, occurring in my mind.

Last night a crime scene was declared, set in my heart.

I had evidence, I had proof.

Did I need a judge?

I knew him, I knew his home did I need a judge.

All I need now is a shroud.

Can you help me?

Author's Note

Please Review!!!!

Reviews

[Confuser]

Sqribbler: I like all the honesty and emotions, the vulnerability, the depths of loss you expressed are amazing. To trust someone and be pushed aside, left in the gutter of the streets, losing all hope is well expressed and the imagery is a TKO! You perfectly purged vulnerabilty and amplified the need for someone to tell you everything will be alright. To be pulled from that murdurous inhumane treatment and lead you to strength; to live again. So sad, clever and loved it. You are the judge. Thank you so very much! Dale

[SCRIBBLER]

Thank You for such a deep review

[Confuser]

You're welcome!!

[Perkele.7885]

This a very intense poem, a very subjective poem. These are the hardest ones to give an objective review. You appear to have lost the ability to trust after being hurt by someone or someones closest to you. You are now seeing these losses of trust as crimes against you within the realm of your mind. A very interesting text you have created for your readers. I did notice several grammatical errors throughout but these are minor things given the depth and breadth of your work here.

[SCRIBBLER]

Much appreciated.

[Jen]

Betrayal, loss of dreams and the agony of helplessness causing dark thoughts to surface...this was good, sad and expressive. I liked that justice was sought rather then vengeance, shows a good heart that over came the anguish of this injustice. Showing strength in the end to stand again and ask for help once more, not allowing it all to keep him down. Bravo! Good job!

[SCRIBBLER]

Really appreciate such a thoughtful review.

[~]

This poem is very unique. You attract the reader with the title, and then expose the twist.
Dark and melancholy, but with a lot of great analogies between committing a murder and being betrayed. The pain of the soul is more excruciating than any other thing. You did well transitioning from the shoulder to the shroud. Great presentation.
:D

[SCRIBBLER]

Thank you for taking the time to read it