birds

          

                                         making me feel like cry

               whenever i see a lovely,lonely sky

                 birds too are nature's boon

Author's Note

Haiku on extinction of birds...
Plzz review it

Reviews

[Jane P.]

A very simple and powerful piece. The structure is also very unique, as you progress downwards, and the intentions increase. There isn't really much I can correct, other than a few grammar errors, but I'm assuming English isn't your first language - so you've done very well. Punctuation wise, you could add a few more commas to create a few more dramatic pauses, just because the tone is actually quite dramatic.

The choice of 'boon' as your final line was really well chosen. It definitely supported the sombre mood of the poem, and it's a lovely word as well! Overall, you have established a nice piece, with a succinct and consistent pace, and a clear message.
Well done.

[Harsh]

Thanks Jane for your appreciation..................

[Great Aunt Astri]

I love (the unusual english)'making me feel like cry'.It is very effective
The message is short, sharp and clear!

[Lydia Shutter]

Nature's beauty...the sort of thing meant to be in a haiku. Lovely and lyrical. Lydi*

[Samuel Jack]

I feel like these could be awesome reggae lyrics! Have you tried song writing? You may have the nack.

I like the last line, the imagery I got was someone watching the sunset, and then a bird disturbs them, but their too relaxed to care.

Cool poem.

[Harsh]

thanks buddy!