Last Chance with Ally

A father gains new perspective of fatherhood.

 

Dying is no other phase than a second chance to those who see it as such. I was twenty-four when I learned this in such a way that haunted my soul to its depths. I was married at a young age of twenty. My wife had given me more than companionship and love; she gave me maturity and hope. Of most importance, she gave me a daughter. Ally, born with perfect form, was all that I wished for in a child. She was loving and funny, smart and kind. She was my perfect baby girl.

            I was in the army when my daughter was born and there I remained until she turned three. I missed out on so much of her early life. I missed all of her birthdays and most holidays that called for my presence as her father. When I came home from various deployments, she would never recognize me. Coming home always broke my heart, as my daughter would hide from me, the stranger, who was her father.

On her fourth birthday, I took time off work to spend the day with her when I came to the understanding of what death really is.

            We woke up early on her birthday, the first day of June, and wished her mother off to work. I poured my early dose of coffee and prepared some pancakes especially made with some strawberries and whipped cream designed to form a smiley face for her pleasure. She greedily ate the meal and laughed with whipped cream and strawberry juice running down her face. Ally finished her pancakes and washed her face with the kind of diligence that I used to have when I cleaned my rifle. She came out of the bathroom gleaming from the special breakfast and sat down next to me as I finished the morning paper. I looked to her past a fold in the newspaper corner and asked,

            "So, Ally, what do you want to do today?"

            She sat back into the couch and put her tiny finger to her chin, as if making it obvious of her deep thought.

            "I want play at park." She said after much thought.

            I pretended to consider her request when I finally agreed after much consideration. She jumped to her feet and ran to her room to get her shoes and play clothes that she would need for the day at the park. I walked to the shed and pulled out the kite and rubber ball that had not been out since the start of the last winter. I loaded my truck with the toys and walked back to the house when I found my daughter at the door wearing the most god-awful mix of pink, blue, and purple. Standing proudly, looking more like a bad tie-dye model, she puts on her little ladybug hat and hops down the stairs. I could do nothing more than laugh as I took her hand and loaded her into the booster seat in my truck. As I seated myself and started the truck, I noticed I was running low on gas. I looked over to Ally and patted her head as she said her goodbyes to the house, the cat, and the dog.

            We pulled out of the driveway and headed down Main Street to the nearest gas station on the way to the park. As I pulled in to the only open pump, I turned off the truck and kissed Ally on the forehead.

            "Sit tight, honey. Ill be right over there. I said while pointing to the pump."

            Ally smiled and pulled at the buttons of her shirt. I stepped out of the truck and slid my debt card into the pump. The system didn't respond. I looked into the station and saw no line so I walked inside quickly and prepaid for my fuel.

            "Sorry hon. Been having problems with the pump all week. This should work." The cashier said.

            "No proble-" I stopped as I heard two gunshots outside.

            I ran straight out the door as I watched a single car speed away from the scene while another car drifted slowly away from the pump with the nozzle still connected. I rushed to the emergency shutoff switch next to the entrance to the station to make sure that fuel wouldn't spray all over the station once the fuel line tore. Sure enough, the nozzle held in the car as it drifted away from the pump and the line began to tear. I rushed to the car and found a lifeless soul laying on the steering wheel. There was nothing I could do. Finally, my fatherly instincts kicked in as I ran to my truck to check on my Ally. She looked at me and smiled, oblivious to the murder that had just taken place.

            "Daddy, can we go to park now?" Ally asked.

            "In just a minute, sweetheart. We have to wait for the policemen." I watched Ally's disappointed reaction. There was none.

            "Are you in trouble, daddy?" She asked.

            I had to laugh.

            "No honey. They are just going to ask me some questions. C'mon inside, I'll get you some candy."

            I lifted her from her seat and carried her into the station and away from the carnage outside. She walked the aisle and picked the candy bar that she wanted. I took her and the candy to the register and started to pay when the cashier waved me off, indicating for me not to bother paying.

            "Thank you. You don't mind if we wait in back for the police, do you?" I asked.

            "Not at all hon. Did she see it happen?" The cashier asked.

            I hoped not.

            "I don't think so."

            I walked Ally to the back where some milk crates were to allow the EMS workers to do their work out of view of a four year old. Ally ate her candy slowly, as if savoring it. Not quite typical for her.

            The sounds of sirens approached after what seemed like an eternity, in actuality it was only five minutes. I listened as the ambulance came and left and I listened for the police to come and find me. I stood to find one of them to give my information to when a young police officer walked in and smiled down to my daughter.

            "Is she okay, sir?" the young officer asked.

            "Shes fine." I said.

            The officer pulled out a notepad and a pen and prepared to take my statement.

            "I understand that you saw the car that drove away?"

            "Yes I did. It was a midnight blue Camero, maybe a 68." I reported.

            "Did you see the driver, sir?"

            "No I didn't. The windows were heavily tinted but he had Arizona plates."

            "Is there anything else that you remember?"

            I thought hard but there was nothing more that I could report that they don't know.

            "Not really, no." I said.

            The young officer finished writing and put away the pad and the pen.

            "You've been a big help today. I understand that your daughter was next to the victims car when it happened."

            "Yes she was."

            "Quick thinking on the shut-off switch. You could have saved her life along with all of the evidence. Thanks for your help, sir."

            I smiled and pet the back of Allys head as the young man left the back room of the gas station.

            Ally and I were then free to do what we wished and that was to go to the park and celebrate the first birthday I have been in town for. Ally sang to herself a sweet little song as we drove to the park, still not getting the gas that we needed. As we pulled to the park, it was empty. This was a rare thing, indeed, for a summer day.

            I pulled Ally out of the truck and let her run free to the playground. She stopped halfway there and called for me to play with her. I pulled out the kite and ball and jogged to where she was hopping in place.

            "Come on daddy! The slide!" She yelled.

            I dropped the toys and rushed her, picking her up and running to the slide with her laughing loudly. I stood her at the top as she slid down without hesitation.

            "Again daddy!"

            I carried her back to the top and watched as she slid down again, in pure joy. I did so five or six times before she got bored and wanted to play on the chain-linked bridge. She hopped and laughed as the bridge shook beneath her little feet. It took a mere ten minutes before she was bored with that and wanted to play on something else. She climbed up ladders and slid down poles.

            "Look daddy! I'm a fireman like you!" She yelled as she slid down a pole.

            "Good job! Where is the fire?" I asked, playing along.

            She looked around and started running to an open field.

            "Its over here! Ill get it!" She started stomping at the ground and rolling around, presumably the stop, drop, and roll technique used to put yourself out, not the actual fire.

            "Get it, kiddo!" I announced, encouragingly.

            She rolled and laughed, ran and smiled. She didn't get winded or even noticeably exhausted from all of the play. In the brief moment that she stood still, I thought I noticed something odd about her. Her hair was a good four inches shorter than before. With all of the stress from the morning, I shook it off and watched as she pretended she was an airplane with her arms outstretched and running in a large circle.

            "Daddy! Come play with me!" She yelled.

            Unlike her, I was beginning to feel the exhaustion. I stood and walked to her and managed to catch her in mid-stride. I lifted her over my head and spun around in a circle as she stretched her arms out and closed her eyes.

            "I'm flying! Daddy, look!"

            I looked up and watched her gentle face gleaming with joy. With my head up I managed to lose my balance and we both fell to the ground laughing uncontrollably. She stood and ran to the edge of the field where I dropped the toys. She picked up the kite and ran back to me.

            I unwound about ten feet of string and looked at her as if assigning an important mission.

            "Ally. I have a big job for you, think you can handle it?"

            She looked at me curiously.

            "I need you to sit on my shoulders and hold onto the kite while I run. When I say let go I need you to let go of the kite, think you can do it?"

            She nodded enthusiastically. I lifted her above my head and placed her on my shoulders. I then bent down and picked up the kite, handing her the piece to hold. As I began to run while holding on to her knees, she laughed and threw the kite before I gained enough speed.

            "Sorry daddy." She muttered.

            "Its okay honey, but in order for it to work I have to go very fast. Wait for me to tell you to let go, okay?"

            "OKAY!" She affirmed.

            I picked up the kite again and tried once more to get the plastic devil to fly. I ran as fast as I would with a four year old on my neck and waited for a gust of headwind. When I felt it on my face I yelled, Let go! the kite soared in the air and circled above us. I let Ally down and released more and more line until I was at its limit. Ally watched the kite in awe and grabbed on to my leg as if to hug me.

            "Daddy?"

            "Yeah, honey?"

            "Is that how an angel flies or do they go this way?" she flung her hand out and back in a straight line.

            "Well, I imagine they fly however they want."

            She smiled.

            I looked down at her once more and noticed that her clothes were getting more and more baggy while her hair WAS getting shorter. I handed her the line and told her to hold on tight as I bent down next to her to closely inspect her hair and clothes. I was certain that her hair was down to her bottom when we left the house; it was now in between her shoulder blades. Her clothes looked as if they were made for someone a full year younger than she. I said nothing to her.

            She began to run to drag the kite where she wanted. She ran with her head up at the kite until she tripped and watched the kite drift down to the ground. I jogged to her to see if she was okay. She stood up quickly and simply asked, without missing a beat,

            "Daddy, can I drive?"

            I, again, laughed.

            "You sure can, when you are this big!" I raised my hand to my neck level.

            She looked disappointed.

            "Aww. Daddy I am big."

            I thought about it and I looked around the parking lot. There was no car to be seen but mine.

            "Come on honey. Lets drive!"

            She ran by my side and approached the driver side door of my truck. I got in and started the truck. I then lifted Ally onto my lap and held her hands on the steering wheel. As I placed the truck into Drive, we pulled out slowly away from the parking space. She shouted joyful laughter and giggled as we drove in small circles in the parking lot.

            I was perfectly happy to continue this until I was out of gas. I had never seen Ally this happy. I still could not help but notice that her little hands were now tiny. I pulled the rear view mirror down and watched her pleasant face as she giggled on every turn. She had the face she had when she was a mere two years old. I slowly stopped the truck and when I had done so she turned around and wrapped her hands around my neck.

            "Thank you daddy." She whispered in my ear.

            My heart melted because I knew something was horribly wrong now that I saw her face to face.

            "Honey, are you feeling okay?" I asked.

            She just smiled at me and looked up at me with her big blue eyes.

            "I have to go now daddy." She said quietly.

            A rush of fear and panic hit me and I shivered from my feet through my face.

            "They said that I can play with you for a while but then I would have to go home." She continued.

            I shuttered.

            "Home where, baby?"

            She kissed me on the cheek and whispered.

            "I get to go where the angels and kites fly. The man who told me said that someone did something bad to me and that I have to see mommy and daddy later. I wasn't scared though. He was nice."

            She smiled at me as I watched her years shrink before my eyes. She was now six months old speaking to me at four.

            "Baby, what man? What happened?" I was panicked.

            "A nice man. He said that the fireworks I heard gave me owies and that I would get to fly away and watch you. Fly with the angels and the kites!"

            As she said this I pulled down the smothering clothes that she had put on this morning, now looking more like drapes than clothes. I pulled down her shirt and it was then I understood. A bright red patch covered her heart.

            She was now three months old. Holding onto my finger.

            I picked her up and held her to my chest. She whispered in my ear the last thing I would hear from Ally.

            "I love you Daddy."

            I could say nothing. My tears had choked me as I watched my beautiful daughter fade away in my hands. Shrinking from the four-year-old child I left with to a mere baby. She continued to get younger as she filled a single hand and faded into a smaller and smaller form until she was gone.

            I laid my head back into the seat of my truck and closed my tear filled eyes.

            "Goodbye baby". I whispered to myself.

            When I had the courage to open my eyes, I found myself standing against the gas station wall next to the emergency shut-off switch. It was then I knew. I knew that I was given a chance that no other father gets. A chance to relive his child's childhood. A chance to let her go with joy. I stared at my truck and knew I had a lifeless Ally in the passengers seat.

Reviews

[Yvonne Heidt]

"OMG" she said with lumps in her throat and tears streaming down her face*

I am stunned. You completely had me through the whole story and I didn't see it coming. I can't write anymore now, I have to go get some tissue.

Excellent writing. Excellent voice. A+ & 10 stars

[GM_Editor]

Will please email me I would love to feature this story in our print magazine! www.mygenesismagazine.com [email protected]

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

This is a wonderful piece and so original. This would make a good movie

[Aislinn Gryffin ((Ashes..]

WOW!!! This was beautiful through and through. The plot and the language were amazing. You had my ful attention through the whole story. AMAZING write!

[allonsy_doctor]

I am sobbing. That was so good. Amazing. Sadening. Heart-breaking. There are words for it I cannot even understand. I loved it. Amazing. Truely a winner. *SOB*

[Martina]

This was so heartbreaking but so good *sniffs* it just touched my heart, thank you for sharing this! THANK YOU

[Fabian G. Franklin]

A very nice piece. Without a touch of a thirst for vengeance. I'd hunt that killer down like the coyote he is and put a bullet in his brain. If I had to walk to Arizona. My little girl is behind me in this picture here. People could do or say just about anything to me; that's not o.k. but it can be forgiven. If they mess with my baby, that's a death wish. All that love and tenderness is from treasuring a soul of one's own flesh; a bond never broken. I read somewhere that the most angelic love is a father's love for his daughter...in this case, I would be an avenging angel. Got me all stirred up in Liam Neeson mode. lol

[Drew Wade]

Hi. I just finished reading this story for the contest, and I'm glad you entered it. I have to say, it does build tension very well, and the plot is good. You think that it will go the way of appreciating someone's life so much more after an accident like that, and then it goes the way of, 'no, this person's dead.' anyway, I liked it very much, but I did have one question. why did she have to grow younger at the end? that was the only part I didn't really understand.

thanks for entering it, again. peace.

[Miss Blue Skies]

That was one of the best stories I have ever read. It was so beautiful and descriptive, and had me in tears at the end. By far, my favorite story of yours. WOOOWWWW!!!

[ShadowHaze]

Oh.. That made me cry so hard! I didn't know what was going on at all until I got to the part where she said she was going where the angels and kites fly. Oh... So sad, so descriptive, so.. everything. It was wondeful to read, truely amazing that you could write this so well. Amazing... I really enjoyed reading this. *Clap hands* I loved this so much!

[Kat_BT]

Oh Wow. This is an amazing piece. It really held me for the entire time, not quite understanding until the very end--much like the father in the story. Such short time spent together, and a pause in time to allow for more time to be spent with her. In the heart and mind, she lives on forever... defying time and the fact that she left the world. Your writing here is absolutely amazing, and heart wrenching. I am sorry if you have had to experience something such as the loss of a child. Thank you for sharing