And We Shall Never Be...

Another vain attempt at a sonnet :)

Love: Such a disease has it become!
I have no control of thought nor whim!
No matter what I've tried or have done,
My thoughts always wander back to him!

Agonizing, it is! To know that we shall never be together...
Though all of myself, I have wished it for my own heart;
But fate does not believe in forever,
So we are destined to be apart.

God's cause is lost on me!
Woe, for I am fore'er waiting,
Such a sight am I to see,
And this problem I've been contemplating.

I used to believe in love, but I've deemed it only a dream,
For as I've come to discover: Love does not believe in me....

Reviews

[The Thracian]

And to know you turn around and smile,
you turn around and play like a child.

Is life a coil to which one can attach many other rings? Feeling something does not make it real. Believing it on the other hand, we've inextricably latched the burden of proof argument to which leaves room for many possibilities. In fact, life has become whatever you want to believe it is.

I find it funny how you said you have no control over whims in the second verse. Who can? And in the third verse you repeat have, which is redundant the second time. If you still want the metering to be 9 you've just to separate the "I've" into I have.

I don't know. I don't really have many other "suggestions" for your piece. You've got the language lashed to your every lunacy. You wouldn't happen to know what "p�quiste" is, would you?

[lots fo love ♥]

That is so sad. i absolutly loved it.