Dear Victoria

A look at my life from another's perspective.

Dear Victoria,

 

    You always told yourself that you were stronger than this. You always said that you would never let anyone walk all over you. Look at yourself. You're nobody. You've become nothing but a degraded pile of ashes on the ground, waiting to be swept up and thrown away.

   You've let yourself doubt your own worth. You don't consider yourself a person anymore. You are only as strong as you let yourself be, and right now you are only dirt. I'm sick of standing by and watching you let yourself be cut down. It makes me sick. You disgust me. Your inability to defend yourself makes me ill.

   I worry about you. What will happen when this all crumbles down? What will happen when he hurts you, but you're so trapped in that relationship that you can't escape? You're stupid, you know that? You are the biggest idiot the world has ever known. I feel sorry for you. Are you that desperate that you can't be without him, or any man for that matter, for more than a couple of days? You make me sick. You are pathetic.

   Everyone said that it would come to this, and still you don't see it. How can you not see what is so obvious? You wouldn't recognize it if it danced naked in front of you. Are you that stupid? How can you let him treat you this way? You are not a piece of meat. You are not an object to own. You are a human being. You are a woman. You can't let him treat you like you are worthless. You can't let him treat you like you are no more than a dirty rag. Grow some balls and stick up for yourself.

   I've watched you crawl through the past two years, so carefully avoiding anything that will make him angry. What kind of life is that? What kind of meager exsistence are you maintaining? You are so much better than this. You deserve SO MUCH MORE. You used to love yourself. Now you are always crying, always doubting yourself. You are so beautiful, and you deserve to have someone who loves you and sees that you are a princess. You are priceless. I just wish you could see this.

   You say that you love him, and you let him treat you this way. If he really loved you, he would never do anything to make you cry. If he really loved you, he wouldn't tell you how to dress, or who you can be friends with, or what to do on weekends. If he really loved you, he would always tell you that you are beautiful, hang out with your friends, and just enjoy spending time with you.

   I'm leaving this up to you. It is your life, and you can chose to do with it what you wish. I hope that you make the right choice. I don't want to see so much potential get flushed away, or so much love be wasted on a relationship that has no benefit for you. I don't want to see you spend your life in fear, in tears, or in pain. I want to see you be happy again. I want to see you smile. I want you to laugh again. This isn't healthy for you.

   I greatly admire your optimism, but right now is one of those moments in life where it is best to be a pessimist. I don't want to see you cry anymore. I don't want to see you waste your life on a fruitless love that doesn't make you happy. I want you to live to the best of your ability, and experience all the joys that life can bring. I want you to roam without feeling tied down. I want you to fly, to reach the heights that you never thought you could. I want you to just... feel. I want you to remember what it was like to feel real.

   I'll be here for you, whenever you need me. Don't hesitate to ask for help. I'm always here to listen.

 

                                   All My Love,

       God