Envy (My Inner Demons)

There he sleeps
In the belly of the beast
The beast that hides inside of me
And awakens every time he leaves

My inner demon, that deceptive beast
She’s my inner hellion, inner freak
Lies in wait to take over me
She christens herself with the name of

…ENVY…

The monster swallowed him whole
To say “I’ll never let you go”
And it smiles with its savage face
And hurls obscenities all over the place

The beastly girl with green eyes… metal teeth…
The hideous being called jealousy
Wants him only for herself
And doesn’t care to share with me…
 

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I like it! Introspective and accepting of the flaws that it finds. I liked the descriptions, though I do wonder if the "metal teeth" fit the image you were building. Gave her a "roboty image" in my mind's eye.

"a predators teeth"?
"jagged teeth"?
"savage teeth"?

Well, that was my only nitpick. Beyond that I was in love with the style, the words and the images.