The questions unanswered...

The questions unanswered..

Brain pregnant with incognito questions,

Heart as insecure as a beautiful widow,

I sat in a decade old rust painted chair..

Not too far, a blacksmith pounds the twisted rod

spluttering fireworks against the by-passers;

fireworks by a sole bread-winner in his family..

My lungs cut loose with each motivated blow

exhaling the same amount of oxygen it inhales,

aiding the heart to compose its own obscure melody

with a web of notes, a birthing numinous chord,

the mysticism of an unspoiled atheist;

Leaving the blacksmith's blows unheard…

the questions sought asylum in this web…

Oxygen cladding with invisibility runs in

to undress these sexy questions..

the labyrinth, a born detective it is,

hastily shuts the windows of the doorless dwelling

as I watched helplessly as a curious-voyeur;

an unknown echo from an unknown place

fills my mysterious silence..

"The question unanswered is the answer to the seeking"

Back to the not too far-blacksmith now bathing

the reformed rod in the icy water,

I saw the hanging sea above with dark 

cloud waves hitting the horizon-shore...

 

Mom’s filter coffee, the last refuge of my musings,

a must now to endure my seeking, I felt..

I stood up with the rust ridden trouser-back,

the relics of the gone moment…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Mrsnyums]

Constructively, I found this poem to be very difficult to understand. The metaphors are so complex, but do they need to be if it means that the reader is unable to decipher your meaning? Also, some of the grammar could perhaps be "tweaked" for ease of reading. For example, "The questions unanswered is the answer to the seeking": You've used plural and singular in the same breath, might be better as "The question unanswered is the answer to the seeking", although I still find that rather mind boggling!

Positively, some really good lines, for example, "Heart as insecure as a beautiful-widow, I sat in a decade old rust-painted chair" and a lovely narrative style.

[Harishvarmaa]

your review helps out to correct my mistakes:) Since the topic of this poem itself is abstract, I preferred to stick to that style... abstractness that could only be felt but never understood:):) expecting your constructive reviews on my forthcoming poems:) thanks...

[Mrsnyums]

I understand, you've achieved what you set out to do with your poem. Well done. And you're very welcome! :-)

[bitstring]

A moment in time, so to speak. Nicely done ;)

[Johnmac08]

Good job!