The questions unanswered...

The questions unanswered..

Brain pregnant with incognito questions,

Heart as insecure as a beautiful widow,

I sat in a decade old rust painted chair..

Not too far, a blacksmith pounds the twisted rod

spluttering fireworks against the by-passers;

fireworks by a sole bread-winner in his family..

My lungs cut loose with each motivated blow

exhaling the same amount of oxygen it inhales,

aiding the heart to compose its own obscure melody

with a web of notes, a birthing numinous chord,

the mysticism of an unspoiled atheist;

Leaving the blacksmith's blows unheard…

the questions sought asylum in this web…

Oxygen cladding with invisibility runs in

to undress these sexy questions..

the labyrinth, a born detective it is,

hastily shuts the windows of the doorless dwelling

as I watched helplessly as a curious-voyeur;

an unknown echo from an unknown place

fills my mysterious silence..

"The question unanswered is the answer to the seeking"

Back to the not too far-blacksmith now bathing

the reformed rod in the icy water,

I saw the hanging sea above with dark 

cloud waves hitting the horizon-shore...

 

Mom’s filter coffee, the last refuge of my musings,

a must now to endure my seeking, I felt..

I stood up with the rust ridden trouser-back,

the relics of the gone moment…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Mrsnyums]

Constructively, I found this poem to be very difficult to understand. The metaphors are so complex, but do they need to be if it means that the reader is unable to decipher your meaning? Also, some of the grammar could perhaps be "tweaked" for ease of reading. For example, "The questions unanswered is the answer to the seeking": You've used plural and singular in the same breath, might be better as "The question unanswered is the answer to the seeking", although I still find that rather mind boggling!

Positively, some really good lines, for example, "Heart as insecure as a beautiful-widow, I sat in a decade old rust-painted chair" and a lovely narrative style.

[Harishvarmaa]

your review helps out to correct my mistakes:) Since the topic of this poem itself is abstract, I preferred to stick to that style... abstractness that could only be felt but never understood:):) expecting your constructive reviews on my forthcoming poems:) thanks...

[Mrsnyums]

I understand, you've achieved what you set out to do with your poem. Well done. And you're very welcome! :-)

[STRAND]

I wanted to like this, especially after reading the other poetic offerings of this group. It's almost as if the author is afraid to say something; everything gets wrapped up in camo and reduced to a whisper. What begins as unique is quickly reduced to just another commonplace smear of verse.

Regards,

S

[Uroš D. Stojanov..]

Confusing, yet intriguing. I wasn't able to understand it fully, but the way it's written is outstanding... good job.

-Urosh Stojanovic

[Pencrafter]

This poem is a labyrinth of images, from the sparks of the blacksmith's hammer to mom's coffee. For those who enjoy puzzles, this is a good one. Your poem gives us some intellectual meat to chew on. You're a deep thinker.

[Fréyjä Helv..]

A very deep thought and a stream of questions just flowed through my head... Beautifully written...

[Sneakygnome]

Nicely witten. The meaning is dense and does not immediately reveal itself. Which I like better than stuff that is painfully obvious.

The hyphenation is idiosyncratic. Normally a lot of the hyphenated items would be in open form "icy water" instead of icy-water". Though I could see some cases where the nonstandard hyphens ties things together, e.g., horizon-shore.

[Lizbeth]

This was a very unusual and philosophical poem. Not sure I understood all of it, so will read it again. I found the hyphens a little distracting, simply because there were perhaps too many of them- For instance, I thought they were unnecessary in the words fireworks and breadwinner - but perhaps that was an intentional play on words. Loved the line:
"Mom’s filter coffee, the last refuge of my musings"
Think I must go and get some, too!
Keep up the good writing
Lizbeth

[Kristallo]

Interesting write. Very complex. I'll have to be honest with you, some of the metaphors and word choices were a little hard to decipher for me; this stanza in particular leaves me puzzled: 'the questions sought asylum in this web…
Oxygen clad with invisibility runs in
to undress the sexy-questions..' the unanswered questions are caught in the web of your mind, I get that, but then you go on to say that these questions are 'oxygen clad with invisibility runs.' Hmm.. That aside, there are some really great lines constructed here. I especially liked, "aiding the heart to compose its own obscure melody
with a web of notes, a birthing mystical chord,
the mysticism of an unspoiled atheist"-- It's very good, but I might not have used the word 'mysticism' twice. Overall, your deconstruction of a moment in slow-motion time is very creative, the imagery was brilliantly descriptive, if not a little enigmatic. The first stanza is by far my favorite, the introduction line is a great attention-getter. Good job. :)

[Harishvarmaa]

thanks for you review:) i want to clarify you about that line...oxygen cladding with invisibility runs in to undress the sexy-questions... here by oxygen i mean the inhaling air which gushes in to free those questions from that web:):)

[Kristallo]

Ah, I see. I guess it just went over my head. :P

[♥ Kinnixk]

Nice :) I love the choice of words.