MY WORDS

Composing words
Is often musical,
Like the waves
Rippling in a lake when rain drops fall,
Soft as the sound of echoes in valleys,
Pious as the chanting of bells in a temple
Devoted to gods,
Emerging as the rays of hope,
Creating a movement of dance in every relationship,
The melody of life.
But my words,
Lying here and there
On the floor of the room
Beside the bookshelves,
Near your slippers,
Broken, unsaid and unpolished,
Like my existence,
And our relationship --
Every day I try to create rhythms
Out of the threads of life,
Stitching and unraveling them,
But never able to compose anything,
Except a song of sadness.

Reviews

[Nigel Newman]

I enjoyed this. It has a flow and a mood. Your similes at the start are wonderful. Then the imagery of words lying here and there on the floor, broken, unsaid, unpolished! Well, hats off!!

To state the obvious, it is rather sad - beautiful but sad. I would almost like to see a follow-up poem or second part showing how the person emerges from this trough. Perhaps within the same revitalised relationship; or perhaps alone. But either way they would emerge. All a bit sad, otherwise.

Nice job!

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thank you so much

[Sami Khalil]

Your words matter and mean a lot for they spring from your thoughts and are expressed in a beautiful form. This was great....:)))

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot Sir

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome. ....:)))))

[Sreenath]

nice theme to write upon.but sorry to say the flow is missing i felt words are sequenced into lines example :
"Creating a movement of dance in every relationship,
The melody of life.
But my words,
Lying here and there "
hope you take that in positive sense, enjoyed reading it... peace out keep smiling :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thank you for the review

[Urja Gokani]

amazingly written keep it up !!

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thank you so much

[Urja Gokani]

welcome :)

[Ruth]

How beautiful...melancholic and yet tangible...the heart strives but isn't always heard...lovely piece :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thank you so much

[Randhir kaur]

Lovely..melancholy but awesome flow of words..well used..keep the work up Hardeep ji..

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot Randhir ji

[Randhir kaur]

Welcome Sir..

[Prabha Salimath]

Really nice poetry Hardeep, there is a complex concept in simple form really good liked it. Flow of poem is wow..

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot Prabha

[Riddhi]

Hey!!! Its really a nice piece of writing...
I should really appreciate you for the beautiful comparison between words and instances of life...
I really enjoyed and liked it....
A sort , simple and sweet poem....
Keep on writing and thanks for sharing...

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thank you so much Riddhi

[Great Aunt Astri]

I think many can relate to your poem. It is beautifully written I like the analogy of words 'rippling in a lake'

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thank you so much

[E G TEN]

Hello Sir Hardeep, you've composed such a complex emotional thread
On thia warm piece, I enjoyed it alot and the ending was sad but beautiful
At the same time, well done Sir, very cool. Thanks EG

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot E G TEN,